Debt Ceiling Deadline

  • Aired:  10/08/13
  •  | Views: 43,504

Without a debt limit deal, Congress risks triggering "economic Armageddon." (4:14)

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )>> Stephen: WELCOME TO THE

REPORT.

THAI.

>> STEPHEN!

STEPHEN!

STEPHEN!

STEPHEN!

STEPHEN!

STEEPEN.

THANK YOU, LADIES ANDGENTLEMEN.

THANK YOU FOR JOINING US.

ALL RIGHT, FOLKS.

HELLO, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN.

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, IN THETELEVISION VIEWING AUDIENCE, IF

YOU ONLY KNOW WHAT THESE PEOPLEHAVE BEEN THROUGH TONIGHT.

( LAUGHTER )NATION, IT IS DAY 8 OF THE

GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN.

TOMORROW, OF COURSE, IS DAY 10BECAUSE 9 HAS BEEN FURLOUGHED.

FOLKS, THIS SHUTDOWN HAS MADE MEFEEL ALL WARM AND FUZZY INSIDE.

ALTHOUGH, THAT COULD JUST ABEREACTION FROM UNINSPECTED

SHRIMP.

( LAUGHTER )THE POINT IS, THIS SHUTDOWN HAS

BEEN MUCH ADO ABOUT NOTHING SOFAR.

BUT THE TIMMY "TITANICS" OUTTHERE ARE SCREAMING ICEBERG

AGAIN.

BECAUSE UNLESS A DEAL IS STRUCKON OCTOBER 17, AMERICA WILL

REACH ITS TET CEILING AND OURNATION COULD DEFAULT, AND

SURPRISE, SURPRISE-- THAT'SSUPPOSED TO BE BAD, TOO

( LAUGHTER ).

>> WITH THE MOST IMPORTANTECONOMY IN THE WORLD WASHINGTON

THE THE RESERVE CURRENCY OF THEWORLD, PAYMENTS HAVE STOOG OUT

TO PEOPLE.

IF MONEY DOESN'T FLOW IN, THENMONEY DOESN'T FLOW OUT.

>> IT WOULD BE A CALAMITYBECAUSE ALMOST EVERYTHING IN THE

WORLD IS PRICED OFF TREASURES.

THIS IS THE MOST IMPORTANT PIECEOF PAPER IN THE WORLD AND NO ONE

KNOWS WHAT WILL HAPPEN.

>> THE GLOBAL ECONOMY, NOT JUSTTHE AMERICAN ECONOMY, DEPENDS

FUNDAMENTALLY, ON THE FULL FAITHAND CREDIT OF THE UNITED STATES

GOVERNMENT.

THIS WOULD BE ECONOMICARMAGEDDON.

>> Stephen: OH, ECONOMICARMAGEDDON.

BIG DEAL.

( LAUGHTER )SO WHEN HALLOWEEN ROLLS AROUND,

THE LITTLE HOBO KNOCKING ON YOURDOOR MIGHT BE AN ACTUAL HOBO.

( LAUGHTER )AT LEAST HE'LL REALLY APPRECIATE

THAT MINI SNICKERS.

FOLKS, I BELIEVE IT ISIRRESPONSIBLE FOR THESE

DOOM-CRYERS TO PANIC YOU.

FIRST OF ALL, YOU'LL NEED THATRESERVE ENERGY TO FIGHT FOR

POTABLE WATER AND CANNED GOODS.

PRO TIP-- YOU CAN MAKE A GREATSHIV OUT OF A SHARPENED FRUIT

ROLL-UP.

( LAUGHTER )SECOND, IT'S NOT GOING TO

HAPPEN.

>> WE'RE NOT GOING TO DEFAULT.

WE JUST WON'T DEFAULT.

THERE ARE WAYS OF NOTDEFAULTING, EVEN IF YOU DON'T

RAISE THE DEBT CEILING.

IT'S PRESIDENT OBAMA SCARING THECRAP OUT OF THE AMERICAN

PEOPLE.

>> I DON'T THINK THE CREDIT OFTHE UNITED STATES IS GOING TO BE

COLLAPSED.

I THINK ALL THIS TALK ABOUT ADEFAULT HAS BEEN A LOT OF

DEMAGOGUERY, A LOT OF FALSE GEMGOGRY.

>> THIS ISN'T SO FATAL.

WE CAN KIND OF GO ON FAIR WHILEDOING THIS.

IT'S LAUGHABLE.

( LAUGHTER ).

>> Stephen: SEE, IT'SLAUGHABLE.

YOU KNOW WHAT THEY SAY-- TRAGEDYPLUS TIME EQUALS COMEDY.

AND WE'VE GOT ANOTHER NINE DAYSBEFORE THE TRAGEDY, SO IT'S

STILL HILARIOUS.

FOLKS, WITHOUT A DEBT CEILINGINCREASE, THE PRESIDENT WILL

JUST HAVE TO PICK WHICH PROGRAMSGET FUNDED.

DO WE FUND VETERANS' PROGRAMS ORHEADSTART MEALS FOR KIDS?

THE ONLY FAIR THING TO DO IS TOPUT THEM IN A PIT AND MAKE THEM

FIGHT IT OUT.

AND SO WHAT?

SO WHAT IF THE DOLLAR IS NOLONGER THE WORLD CURRENCY

ANYMORE?

WE'LL JUST REPLACE IT WITH THEEURO, OR SUBWAY CLUB CARDS, OR

THE TEETH OF CHILDREN.

I MEAN, THE TOOTH FAIRY'S ALWAYSIN THE PLARKT FOR THOSE THINGS,

AND SHE PAYS CASH.

IN FACT, DEFAULTING ON OUR DEBTCOULD, JUST COULD BE

BENEFICIAL.

ACCORDING TO FLORIDA CONGRESSMANTED YOHO WHO I BELIEVE

REPRESENTS OF THE "PIRATES OFTHE CARIBBEAN" RIDE.

>> CONGRESSMAN TED YOHOREPUBLICAN OF FLORIDA SAYS BY

REFUSING TO RAISE THE SO-CALLEDDEBT LIMIT CONGRESS WOULD HAVE

THE REVERSE EFFECT OF BRINGINGSTABILITY TO WORLD MARKET.

>> Stephen: YET, A GOVERNMENTDEFAULT COULD BRING STABILITY TO

WORLD MARKETS, JUST LIKE IF YOUCUT OFF BOTH YOUR LEGS, IT

BRINGS STABILITY TO YOUR TORSO.

BECAUSE IT