The Word - It's Not Easy Having Green

  • Aired:  10/08/12
  •  | Views: 28,848

America's super rich are having a good decade, but The New Yorker claims they can't enjoy it because President Obama hurt their feelings. (5:33)

AND JUST WHERE DOES THAT MONEY COME FROM?

RIGHT OUT OF THE POCKETS OF THE JOB CREATE EVERS.

HOW'S THAT FOR YOUR SOCIALIST REDISTRIBUTION OF WEALTH.

FOLKS, IT'S CALLED CLASS WARFARE, AND THE PRESIDENT LOVES IT.

IT'S ALL LAID OUT IN A NEW RECENT NEW YORKER ARTICLE.

NOW I TRY HARD NOT TO READ "THE NEW YORKER", BECAUSE I NEVER WIN THEIR CARTOON CAPTION CONTEST.

THAT COUPLE SLEEPING IN THE GRAVEYARD, THANKS A LOT, GAY MARRIAGE.

NEVER.

THE LAST WEEK I MADE AN EXCEPTION BECAUSE "THE NEW YORKER" HAD A GREAT PIECE OF A NEW VILIFIED UNDERCLASS.

THE RICH.

AND THE SIGNS OF THIS OPPRESSION ARE EVERYWHERE, FOLKS.

FOR INSTANCE, IN THE POST CRASS STOCK MARKET RECOVERY THE TOP 1% OF EARNERS ONLY GOT 93% OF THE GAINS.

WHAT HAPPENED TO THAT OTHER 7%, MR. PRESIDENT?

DID IT GO FOR BIRTH CONTROL FOR THE MUSLIM BROTHERHOOD?

SOLYNDRA STOCK OPTION FOR THE BLACK PANTHERS?

WHERE?

OBAMA'S BLATANT DISCRIMINATION AGAINST WALL STREET HAS CREATED A CRISIS.

AND THAT CRISIS IS THE SUBJECT OF TONIGHT'S WORD.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

>> Stephen: IT'S NOT EASY HAVING GREEN.

FOLKS, LAST YEAR THE TOP 500 C.E.O.s EARNED $5.2 BILLION.

THE WEALTHY ARE PAYING THEIR LOWEST TAX RATES SINCE THE 1950s AND LAST WEEK THE DOW CLOSED AT ITS HIGHEST LEVEL

IN FIVE YEARS.

AMERICA'S SUPERRICH ARE HAVING A GOOD DECADE.

BUT FOLKS-- THEY CAN'T ENJOY IT BECAUSE BARACK OBAMA HAS HURT THEIR FEELINGS.

ONE FUND, ONE FUND MANAGER SAID THE PRESIDENT SHOWED DISDAIN FOR THE RICH.

WHILE ANOTHER ACCUSED HIM OF BULLYING.

AND A THIRD SAID BECAUSERS WHO STILL SUPPORT OBAMA ARE LIKE BATTERED WIVES.

YES.

THESE BILLIONAIRES ARE LIKE BATTERED WIVES.

THEY SHOULD REALLY GO TO A SHELL TER.

WELL, FOLKS, THE WEALTHY HAVE HAD IT.

THE WEALTHY WILL NOW FIGHTING BACK WITH THEIR LEADER, HEDGE FUND FOUNDER WILL OBJECT COOPERMAN WHO HAS BEEN DESCRIBED AS THE

POPE OF THIS MOVEMENT WELL, POPE ISN'T REALLY FAIR.

HE HAS MORE GOALS THAN THE VAT BEGAN-- VATICAN.

AS WE SPEAK TOM HANKS IS SEARCHING FOR CLUES IN HIS BASEMENT.

(LAUGHTER) ACCORDING TO THE ARTICLE IN "THE NEW YORKER", COOPERMAN LAUNCHED HIS CRUSADE AFTER HEARING THESE HATEFUL WORDS.

>> IF YOU ARE'S-- IF YOU ARE A WEALTHY C.E.O. OR HEDGE FUND MANAGER IN AMERICA RIGHT NOW, YOUR TAXES ARE

LOWER THAN THEY HAVE EVER BEEN.

THEY'RE LOWER THAN THEY HAVE BEEN SINCE THE 1950s.

AND YOU CAN AFFORD IT.

YOU'LL STILL BE ABLE TO RIDE ON YOUR CORPORATE JET.

WILL YOU JUST HAVE TO PAY A LITTLE MORE.

>> Stephen: PAY MORE.

FOR MY PRIVATE JET?

WHY NOT JUST MAKE ME TAKE THE SHIN-WU CHINATOWN BUS.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) OR WORSE, DELTA.

EITHER WAY YOUR CHICKEN RIDES FOR FREE.

NOW COOPERMAN KNOWS-- COOPERMAN KNOWS THAT STATEMENT BY THE PRESIDENT IS QUOTE A DECLARATION OF CLASS WARFARE

SAYING OBAMA IS, QUOTE, NOT TOTALLY DIFFERENT FROM ADOLF HITLER IN GERMANY.

YES, IN SOME WAYS VERY SIMILAR.

YOU SEE, COOPERMAN HAS ONLY ONE DEMAND.

HE WOULD BE WILLING TO PAY HIGHER TAXES IF HE WAS TREATED WITH RESPECT.

AND YOU KNOW WHAT THEY SAY ABOUT RESPECT, IF YOU HAVE TO ASK, YOU DESERVE IT.

BUT THE PRESIDENT SEEMS UNWILLING TO GIVE THEM THAT RESPECT, BUT I AM.

TO SOOTHE THE WOUNDED SPIRIT OF OUR JOB CREATORS, I HAVE CREATED THE OFFICIAL STEPHEN COLBERT CERTIFICATE OF RICHNESS.

IT PROCLAIMS-- (APPLAUSE) IT PROCLAIMS THAT THE HOLD HOLDER OF THIS DOCUMENT HAS AMASSED INCONCEIVABLE WEALTH

THAT HE TRULY DESERVES AND MORE IMPORTANTLY, SOMEONE LIKES HIM.

AVAILABLE FOR ONE MILLION DOLLARS ON WHICH I WILL PAY TAXES IF I AM SHOWN RESPECT.

AND FOLKS-- (LAUGHTER)

>> RIGHT NOW THIS MOVEMENT DOESN'T HAVE AN OFFICIAL NAME.

SO I AM ALSO FORMING A NEW POLITICAL PARTY TO GIVE BILLIONAIRES THE RESPECT THEY DESERVE.

I CALL IT THE PROTECTING INDUSTRY TITANS AND YACHTSMAN PARTY OR PITTY PARTY.

SO PERCENT KULTED RICH, JOIN-- PERSECUTED RICH, JOIN THE PITTY PARTY BECAUSE OBAMA MIGHT BE RE-ELECTED.

AND IF HE'S WILLING TO SAY THAT HE WANTS TO GO AFTER WALL STREET IN HIS FIRST TERM, THERE'S A CHANCE HE

MIGHT ACTUALLY DO SOMETHING IN HIS SECOND.

AND THAT'S THE WORD.

WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

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