Alpha Dog of the Week - Steven Slater

  • Aired:  08/10/10
  •  | Views: 126,993

A JetBlue flight attendant curses out a passenger, grabs beer from the galley and jumps down the evacuation slide. (3:14)

EVERYBODY.

FOLKS, I HAD YESTERDAY OFF, AND

I SPENT A BIG PART OF MY LONG

WEEKEND POUNDING BUD LIGHT LIMES

IN AN ATTEMPT TO MAKE CEVEICI

OUT OF MY LIVER

THE REST OF THE TIME I SAT BACK

AND ADMIRED THE OMEGA BALLS ON

MY ALPHA DOG OF THE WEEK.

TONIGHT I RECOGNIZE JETBLUE

FLIGHT ATTENTION DAPTD STEVEN

SLATER.

LOOK, WE ALL KNOW THAT DUE TO

CUTBACKS AIR TRAVEL HAS BECOME A

TRIP UP THE DEVIL'S BUTT HOLE IN

A FLYING ALUMINUM SUPPOSETORY.

EVERY ONE OF THESE AIRBORNE RAGE

TUBES CON TEARS A HERD OF

CRAMPED, DEFEATED PEOPLE, EACH

ON THE VERGE OF TOTAL FERAL

MELTDOWN, BUT AS BAD AS IT IS

FOR THE PASSENGERS, IT'S EVEN

TOUGHER ON FLIGHT ATTENDANTS.

IN SLATER'S CASE, HE WOULD

WORKING A FLIGHT FROM PITTSBURGH

TO NEW YORK WHICH STARTED WITH

AN ALTERCATION BETWEEN TWO

PASSENGERS OVER SPACE IN THE

OVERHEAD BIN.

WHEN SLATER STEPPED IN, HE GOT

HIT IN THE HEAD WITH ONE OF THE

BAG, AN I'M SURE HIS BONES ARE

VERY WEAK GIVEN HIS ALL

MINIPRETZEL DIET.

WHEN THE FLIGHT LANDED, ONE OF

THE PASSENGERS BECAME SO ENRAGED

THAT THE BAG SHE GATE CHECKED

WAS NOT IMMEDIATELY AVAILABLE,

SHE CURSED SLATEDDER OUT.

SLATER ASKED FOR AN APOLOGY.

THE PASSENGER SAID, GO [BLEEPED]

YOURSELF, THEN CALLED HIM A

MOTHER [BLEEPED].

CLEARLY THIS WOMAN HAS NEVER

SEEN SAMUEL L. JACKSON'S

INSTRUCTION VIDEO ON POPPER

IN-FLIGHT SWEARING.

>> I HAVE HAD IT WITH THESE

MONKEY BITING SNAKES ON THIS

MONDAY TO FRIDAY PLANE.

>> Stephen: NOW, A BETA DOG

MIGHT REMAIN CALM, BUT SLATER

BIT BACK THE WAY EVERY FLIGHT

ATTENDANT SECRETLY WISHES THEY

COULD.

HE GOT ON THE P.A. AND SAID, TO

THE PASSENGER WHO CALLED ME A

MOTHER [BLEEPED], [BLEEPED] YOU.

THEN CLOSED WITH, THAT'S IT, I'M

DONE, GRABBED SOME BEER FROM THE

GALLEY, PULLED THE EMERGENCY

HANDLE AND JUMPED DOWN THE

EVACUATION SLIDE.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

I ASSUME... I ASSUME RIDING HIS

BALLS SLIEK -- LIKE A SLED.

THANKS TO SLATER, WE'LL NEED TO

MAKE SOME CHANGES TO THE AIRLINE

SAFETY CARD, LIKE IN THE EVENT

OF FLIGHT ATTENDANT FREAKOUT,

ASSUME CRASH POSITION AND EXTEND

ARM TO CAPTURE MELTDOWN ON

IPHONE.

I MEAN, SERIOUSLY, NO VIDEO OF

THIS?

BUT THAT WAS NOT WHAT ELEVATED

SLATER TO THE FALL KENNEL.

NO.

IT'S WHEN 50 COPS SWARMED HIS

HOME LESS THAN TWO HOURS LATER.

THEY FOUND HIM IN THE MIDST OF

HAVING SEXUAL RELATIONS.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

HEY, THIS ALPHA DOG JUST NEEDED

TO RELIEVE HIS JETBLUE BALLS.

WELL, NOW WE KNOW IT'S TRUE.

JETBLUE REALLY DOES HAVE THE

BEST IN-FLIGHT ENTERTAINMENT.

SULLY SULLENBERGER, THE BAR HAS

BEEN RAISED.

AND MR. SLATER, FOR REFUSING TO

SAFELY STOW YOUR SACK BENEATH

THE SEAT IN FRONT OF YOU AND

RAISING YOUR MIDDLE FINGER TO

THE UPRIGHT AND LOCKED POSITI

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