I's on Edjukashun - Gay History & Disney English

  • Aired:  07/21/11
  •  | Views: 87,578

California's school curriculum includes lesson plan-on-man action, and Disney will teach Chinese kids words like "Mickey," "Mouse," and "Sew that Mickey Mouse hoodie faster." (6:15)

NATION, THIS IS MY QUESTION: YOU

ARE ALL MY STUDENTS, AND I AM

HOT FOR TEACHER.

THIS IS "EYES ON EDUCATION."

♪♪

♪♪

FIRST PERIOD.

[BELL RINGS]

HISTORY.

FOLKS, OUR PUBLIC SCHOOLS ARE

FILLED WITH VIOLENCE, DRUGS AND

GUNS.

BUT THEY ARE ABOUT TO GET

DANGEROUS.

>> CALIFORNIA'S GOVERNOR HAS

SIGNED A BILL THAT REQUIRES

SCHOOLS TO TEACH GAY HISTORY.

>> THIS IS AN OUTRAGE.

BRINGING GAY HISTORY INTO OUR

CLASSROOM TEACHES OUR CHILDREN A

DANGEROUS LESSON, THAT GAY

PEOPLE EXIST.

[LAUGHTER]

AND STRAIGHT NATION, IT ONLY

GETS WORSE.

>> LESSONS IN PUBLIC SCHOOLS

WILL NOW INCLUDE THE

CONTRIBUTIONS OF LESBIAN, GAY,

BISEXUAL AND TRANSGENDER

AMERICANS.

>> TRANSGENDER AMERICANS?

GREAT.

NOW OUR KIDS ARE GOING TO LEARN

ABOUT HOW FRANKLIN ROOSEVELT

BECAME ELEANOR ROOSEVELT.

BUT THAT WON'T BE THE ONLY

REVELATION IN THESE

TEACHER-TAUGHT LESSON

PLAN-ON-MAN ACTION.

>> STARTING IN 2013, STUDENTS

WILL LEARN ABOUT FAMOUS GAY

PEOPLE, IS UP AS HARVEY MILK,

SAN FRANCISCO'S FIRST OPENLY GAY

POLITICIAN.

>> IF, IN FACT, THERE IS A

DISCUSSION IN ENGLISH ABOUT

OSCAR WILDE, IT WILL REFERENCE

THE FACT THAT HE WAS GAY.

>> Stephen: WHAT?

THIS GUY WAS GAY?

[LAUGHTER]

THAT CHANGES EVERYTHING I NEVER

LEARNED ABOUT HIM.

AND, FOLKS...

[CHEERING AND APPLAUSE]

AND I AM NOT THE ONLY ONE WHO

SEES WHERE THIS THING IS GOING.

>> CALIFORNIA REWRITING THE TEXT

BOOKS, THE HISTORY BOOKS SAYING,

BY THE WAY, GEORGE WASHINGTON

WAS A HOMOSEXUAL.

>> YES, HOW DARE CALIFORNIA SAY

THAT A MAN IN A POWDERED WIG AND

HIGH SILK STOCKINGS IS GAY.

NEXT THING THEY'LL ACCUSE HIM OF

CROSSING THE DELAWARE ON A PRIDE

FLOAT.

WELL, CALIFORNIA, CALIFORNIA,

YOU'RE SO EAGER FOR GAY HISTORY,

I WILL GIVE YOU GAY HISTORY.

GAY WAS INVENTED IN ANCIENT

GREECE BY SOCRATES, WHO CAME UP

WITH THE SOCRATIC METHOD, WHICH

I BELIEVE IS A GAY SEX MOVE.

IN THE FIFTH CENTURY, THE

VISIGOTHS SPREAD THEIR GAY

CULTURE OF PANTSLESSNESS

THROUGHOUT EUROPE.

SEE THIS GUY SWINGING IN THE

BREEZE HERE?

I BELIEVE THAT'S WHAT'S CALLED

THE SAC OF ROME.

THEN IN 1504, AN ANGRY AND

DEPRESSED MICHELANGELO SCULPTS

HIS EX-BOYFRIEND DAVE, GIVING

HIM ROCK HARD ABS BUT IN A

BITCHY AND VENGEFUL MOVE GIVES

HIM AN INCREDIBLY SMALL CANNOLI.

THEN AFTER THAT NOTHING GAY FOR

500 YEARS.

STRAIGHTS WERE ON A ROLE UNTIL

THE '70s WHEN GAY MADE A

COMEBACK WHEN PAUL LYNN WAS

GIVEN THE CENTER SQUARE.

IMPRESSIONABLE CHILDREN HOMESICK

FROM SCHOOL WATCHED HIM, WERE

CONVERTED, AND BOOM, EVER SINCE

IT'S BEEN GAY, GAY, GAY, GAY,

GAY, THUS ENDETH THE LESSON,

WHICH BRINGS US TO OUR FIRST POP

QUIZ: IF A SOCIETY BEGINS

TEACHING ITS CHILDREN ABOUT GAY

HISTORY IN 2011, HOW LONG UNTIL

THEY ALL BECOME GAY AND A GREAT

COUNTRY CRUMBLES INTO DUST?

A, INSTANTLY.

B, ALL OF THE ABOVE.

SECOND PERIOD.

[BELL RINGS]

SOCIAL STUDIES.

NATION, I DON'T KEEP AN EYE JUST

ON EDUCATION IN AMERICA.

I ALSO WATCH WHAT THEY'RE DOING

IN CHINA.

SOMEONE NEEDS TO TEACH THOSE

KIDS BETTER PENMANSHIP.

I'M GOING TO SAY "L," A VERY

LAZY "T."

WHATEVER.

WELL, CHINA IS EXPLORING A NEW

FRONTIER IN EDUCATION WITH THE

HELP OF THE HAPPIEST COMPANY ON

EARTH.

>> A NEW CAST OF ENGLISH

TEACHERS HAS COME SHANGHAI, AND

IT'S SAFE TO SAY THE GROUP IS

UNLIKE ANY INSTRUCTORS THIS

CITY'S CHILDREN HAS SEEN BEFORE.

THIS IS THE DISNEY ENGLISH

SCHOOL FIRST, OF MANY PLANNED

FOR CHINA.

IT'S THE WALT DISNEY COMPANY'S

NEWEST FORWAY INTO THE WORLD'S

MOST POPULOUS NATION.

>> STEPHEN: THE DISNEY ENGLISH

SCHOOL, NOW CHINESE KIDS LEARN

WORDS LIKE "MICKY" AND "MOUSE"

AND "SEW THAT MICKEY MOUSE

HOODIE FASTER" AND FUTURE

CLASSES CAN COVER MORE ADVANCED

CONVERSATIONAL ENGLISH LIKE "ZIP

DEE DUE DAH" AND "SUPERCAL

TRAGIC."

OF COURSE, SOME SAY THEY'RE

BRAINWASHING THESE CHILDREN AS

POTENTIAL CLIENTS.

EXACTLY.

GOT TO GET THEM YOUNG.

FOLKS, WE NEED DISNEY ENGLISH

SCHOOLS HERE IN AMERICA.

WE CANNOT ALLOW A PRINCESS GAP.

AMERICAN KIDS ARE DANGEROUSLY

UNDEREXPOSED TO DISNEY

MARKETING.

THEY HAVE ONLY MOVIE, TOYS,

THEME PARKS, TV SHOWS, ICE

SPECTACULARS, BROADWAY SHOWS,

NIGHT LIGHTS AND TOY STORY

CREDIT CARDS.

KIDS, YOU CAN BE IN DEBT TO

INFINITY AND BEYOND.

[CHEERING AND APPLAUSE]

TIME FOR ANOTHER POP QUIZ.

THE LITTLE MERMAID IS TO

PINOCCHIO AS ALADDIN IS TO, A,

GOOFY, B, THE SINGING TEAPOT, C,

BUZZ LIGHT YEAR, AND D, WHO

CARES, WE JUST RAISED YOUR BRAND

AWARENESS OF SIX DISNEY

CHARACTERS.

WE

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