Asparagusgate

  • Aired:  05/16/13
  •  | Views: 79,420

The House Judiciary Committee grills Attorney General Eric Holder, and Louie Gohmert accuses Holder of casting aspersions on his asparagus. (3:22)

>> Stephen: WELCOME TO THE

REPORT.

THANK YOU FOR JOINING US, LADIES

AND GENTLEMEN.

>> STEPHEN!

STEPHEN!

STEPHEN!

STEPHEN!

STEPHEN!

>> Stephen: THANK YOU, LADIES

AND GENTLEMEN.

OH!

MAKE NO MISTAKE, THE HEROES ARE

ON FIRE.

FOLKS, I HOPE YOU KNOW, FOR

OBAMA WATCHDOGS LIKE ME, THE

LAST WEEK OF SCANDALS HAS BEEN

LIKE CHRISTMAS MORNING.

( LAUGHTER )

AND SPEAKING OF CHRISTMAS, WHY

ARE ALL THE PRESENTS WRAPPED?

WHAT ARE THEY TRYING TO HIDE?

( LAUGHTER )

NOW, OF COURSE, OBAMA HAS BEEN

IN FULL DAMAGE CONTROL TRYING TO

WIGGLE OUT OF THIS ONE, JUST

LIKE ME WIGGLED UP ON THE OF

SERVING IN VIETNAM.

( LAUGHTER )

SORRY, MR. PRESIDENT, YOU CAN'T

ESCAPE THIS TIME BY CLAIMING TO

BE EIGHT YEARS OLD.

( LAUGHTER )

AND IT'S NOT JUST OBAMA, FOLKS.

YESTERDAY, THE PRESIDENT SENT

ATTORNEY GENERAL AND

CONGRESSIONAL PINATA ERIC HOLDER

INTO THE SARLAAC PIT OF CAPITOL

HILL.

>> ATTORNEY GENERAL ERIC HOLDER

WAS ON THE HOT SEAT WEDNESDAY.

PRESSED FOR ANSWERS BY THE HOUSE

JUDICIARY COMMITTEE.

>> ERIC HOLDER IS BEING GRILLED

ON A COUPLE OF SCANDALS THAT ARE

ROCKING THE OBAMA

ADMINISTRATION.

>> THE ATTORNEY GENERAL ERIC

HOLDER GRILLED BY LAWMAKERS.

>> GRILLED BY CONGRESS.

>> GETTING PEPPERED WITH

QUESTIONS.

>> Stephen: MMM, GRILLED AND

PEPPERED.

THAT EXPLAINS WHY DARRELL ISSA

WAS WEARING THAT "KISS THE COOK"

APRON.

NOW, HOLDER DESPERATELY SPARRED

WITH THE GREAT MINDS ON THE

JUDICIARY COMMITTEE, BUT THEN HE

BIT OFF MORE THAN HE COULD CHEW.

WHEN HE RAN UP AGAINST

CONGRESSMAN AND MAGICAL TALKING

CANTALOUPE LOUIE GOHMERT'S

QUESTIONS ABOUT THE F.B.I.'S

INVESTIGATION INTO THE BOSTON

BOMBERS.

>> YOU STATE AS A MATTER OF FACT

WHAT THE F.B.I. DID AND DID NOT

DO.

YOU SIMPLY DO NOT KNOW THAT.

AND YOU HAVE CHARACTERIZE THE

F.B.I. AS BEING NOT THOROUGH.

I KNOW WHAT THE F.B.I. DID.

YOU CANNOT KNOW WHAT I KNOW.

THAT'S ALL.

>> I CANNOT HAVE A--

>> REGULAR ORDER.

>> CHALLENGE MY CHARACTER.

>> MR. CHAIRMAN.

REGULAR ORDER, PLEASE.

>> GENTLEMEN, WE'LL--

>> WITHOUT RESPONDING TO THAT.

>> THE ATTORNEY GENERAL MADE

STATEMENTS THAT WHAT I SAID WAS

NOT TRUE WHEN ACTUALLY THE

REVERSE IS WHAT HAPPENED.

THE ATTORNEY GENERAL FAILED TO

ANSWER MY QUESTION ABOUT--

>> GENTLEMEN, GENTLEMEN.

>> ...CHAIRMAN.

>> ASPERSIONS ON MY ASPARAGUS.

( LAUGHTER )

>> Stephen: DARE YOU CAFTA,

SPERGZS ON THAT MAN'S ASPARAGUS!

WHAT IS NEXT, SIR, LIABLING HIS

LETTUCE?

QUESTIONING HIS QUINOA.

ARGUING WITH HIS ARUGULA.

VILLIFYING HIS VINAIGRETTE

BEFORE DRIZZLING IT ON THE

SCANDAL SALAD?

CLEARLY, NATION, WE ARE GOING TO

NEED A LOT MORE HEARINGS ON

ASPARAGUS-GATE BECAUSE THE MORE

I DIGEST

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