Sport Report - Super Bowl Edition

  • Aired:  02/03/11
  •  | Views: 29,965

Stephen will not be satisfied unless the Reagan tribute at the Super Bowl takes up the full halftime show and the third quarter. (3:27)

THIS IS MY LAST SHOW BEFORE

SUNDAY'S SUPER BOWL AND I

HAVE ALREADY STARTED

PREPARING MY SEVEN LAYER

DIP.

BEEF, CHEESE, SOUR CREAM,

CHILI PEPPERS, PANCAKE

BATTER AND LIPITOR.

THIS IS THE SPORE REPORT.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

SUPER BOWL EDITION, NATION

THIS YEAR'S GAME BETWEEN THE

GREEN BAY PACKERS AND THE

PITTSBURGH STEELERS IS SURE

TO BE A THRILLER.

BOTH TEAMS ARE A CREDIT TO

THE DEFUNCT INDUSTRIES THAT

ARE THEIR NAME SAKES.

(LAUGHTER)

>> AND WHEN IT COMES TO THE

SUPER BOWL-- OH, I'M SORRY,

I FORGOT TO FEED MY NFL

ROYALTY METER.

THE NFL IS EXTREMELY

PROTECTIVE OF THEIR BRAND SO

BEFORE I CAN EVEN TALK ABOUT

THE NFL I NEED TO PAY.

HOLD ON.

>> THANK YOU FOR YOUR

LICENSING FEE.

YOU HAVE 2 MINUTES.

REMAINING.

>> Stephen: AND THAT, AND

THAT FEE IS JUST TO TALK

ABOUT THE NFL.

THE FEES FOR THE FOOTAGE ARE

SO HIGH I CAN'T EVEN SHOW

YOU JETS HIGHLIGHTS.

INSTEAD I HAVE TO SHOW YOU

THIS.

GOT TO ADMIT, NOBODY MOVES

AROUND IN THE POCKET LIKE

MARK SANCHEZ.

BUT YOU KNOW, FOLKSIX DON'T

MIND PAYING THE LICENSING

FEE.

THE NFL SHOULD PROFIT ANYWAY

THEY CAN.

WHICH IS WHY I WAS SO

EXCITED ABOUT THEIR NEWEST

MONEYMAKER AS REPORTED BY W

FAA-TV DALLAS'S NEWS LEADER.

>> YOU STILL HAVE A CHANCE

TO MAKE IT TO THE SUPER BOWL

AT THE COWBOY STADIUM.

TODAY THEY ANNOUNCED THEY

WILL SELL TICKETS TO AN

OUTDOOR PLAZA FOR 200

DOLLARS.

FANS WILL HAVE TO WATCH THE

GAME ON VIDEO SCREENS, AND

WON'T BE ABLE TO GO INSIDE.

>> YEAH!

>> IT'S LIKE YOU'RE AT THE

SUPER BOWL BUT FORGOT YOUR

TICKETS.

IT IS DEFINITELY WORTH 200

SMACKERS.

I MEAN IT'S NONE OF THE

HASSLE OF SEEING THE GAME

LIVE BUT ALL OF THE FUN OF

HOURS OF TRYING TO GET OUT

OF THE PARKING LOT.

(LAUGHTER)

BUT THE BIG DRAW THIS SUNDAY

ISN'T EVEN THE FOOTBALL GAME,

IT'S RONALD REAGAN'S 100th

BIRTHDAY, WHOO!

ARE YOU READY FOR SOME

TRICKLE DOWN!

THE FESTIVITIES, COME ON.

WE STILL LOVE THEM.

THE FESTIVITIES WILL INCLUDE

A SPECIAL TRIBUTE TO RONNIE

AND WHATEVER IS IS GOINGING

TO BE, CAN NEVER BE ENOUGH.

I WILL NOT BE SATISFIED

UNLESS THE REAGAN TRIBUTE

TAKES UP THE FULL HALFTIME

SHOW AND THE THIRD QUARTER.

WITH ALL OF THE GREATEST

SPEECHES RECITED BY THE

BLACK-EYED PEAS, WILL I AM

CAN BE REAGAN, FERGIE CAN BE

NANCY AND APL.DE.AP CAN BE

OLIVER NORTH DEAPP.

I ONCE JELLY BEANS, THE

STADIUM COND IMENTS TO BE

DECLARED A VEGETABLE,

CONCESSION SALES TO BENEFIT

THE NICARAGUAN CON TRAS OERZ

I WILL SWITCH TO ANIMAL

PLANET TO WATCH THEIR HALF

TIME SPECIAL, THE DIPPER

BOWL IT IS PUPPIES PLAYING

FOOTBALL DRESSED AS REAGAN.

AFTER ALL, I'VE ALWAYS

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