Dan Savage

  • Aired:  07/12/11
  •  | Views: 104,700

Dan Savage thinks monogamy shouldn't be the ultimate defining characteristic of a successful marriage because fooling around can sometimes save a marriage. (6:11)

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

>> Stephen: WELCOME BACK,

EVERYBODY.

MY GUEST TONIGHT IS A NATIONALLY

SYNDICATED SEX ADVICE COLUMNIST,

WHO SAYS MONOGAMY IS OUT-DATED.

YOU KNOW WHAT NEVER GOES OUT OF

STYLE?

HELL.

PLEASE WELCOME DAN SAVAGE!

LET'S GO, TAD.

LET'S GO!

COME ON!

LET'S GO!

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

WOOH!

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

DAN THIS, IS TAD, HE IS MY

HETEROSEXUALITY ACCOUNTABILITY

BUDDY.

>> LOOVES FAMILIAR.

>> Stephen: GO PACKERS!

YOU ARE THE COUNTRY'S LEADING

SEX ADVICE COLUMNIST.

YOU ARE AN AUTHOR.

YOU STARTED THE IT GETS BETTER

PROJECT THIS FALL.

IN THE TPHORBGTS MAGAZINE

THERE'S A RECENT PIECE ABOUT

YOU.

IN IT YOU SAY A SUCCESSFUL

MARRIAGE, ONE OF KEYS IS

ELIMINATING THE REQUIREMENT OF

MONOGAMY.

>> NOT EXACTLY WHAT I SAID.

>> Stephen: YOU SAID WE

SHOULDN'T BE --

>> YOU SID IT SHOULDN'T BE THE

OPEN CHARACTERISTIC OF A

MARRIAGE.

>> Stephen: IF YOU DON'T MAKE

THAT.

DID YOU VOW TO BE MON NOTHING

MUSS WITH YOUR HUSBAND?

>> NO.

>> Stephen: THAT'S A A

MARRIAGE IT'S A JOINT CHECKING

ACCOUNT.

[LAUGHTER]

>> ARE THE CLINTONS MARRIED?

>> Stephen: I DON'T KNOW.

>> ARE THE VITTER'S MARRIED?

EXSENATOR ENSIGN DO -- IS HE

MARRIED?

WE ONLY HERE MONOGAMY THAT IS A

PART OF MARRIAGE.

WE NEVER HEAR --

>> Stephen: WE DO.

YOU ARE SAYING WE SHOULDN'T PUT

SO MUCH WEIGHT ON IT?

>> WE'RE BAD ATE IT.

LOOK AT THE CLINTON, LOOK AT THE

VITTER'S, THE LIMBAUGH'S --

>> Stephen: I KNOW I SHOULD DO

CRUNCHES.

>> BUT YOUR MARRIAGE DOESN'T

COLLAPSE.

>> Stephen: MY HEART FAILS.

MARRIAGE IS AN EXERCISE.

YOU HAVE TO WORK AT IT.

WHAT IS HEAVEN FOR IF YOU DON'T

SET THESE GOAL?

>> IF PEOPLE MAKE A MONOGAMOUS

COMMITMENT THEY SHOULD TRY TO

HONOR IT.

MANY PEOPLE WHO BELIEVE THEY ARE

IN MONOGAMOUS RELATIONSHIPS AND

THOSE WHO MADE THE COMMITMENT

WILL FALL SHORT AND THEN WHAT?

SHOULD IT BE A RELATIONSHIP END

ENDING EVENT.

OR SHOULD IT BE SOMETHING THAT

YOU SHOULD BE ABLE TO GET PAST.

THE MARRIAGE SHOULD BE EXPECTED

TO SURVIVE.

>> Stephen: THAT IS NOT WHAT

YOU ARE SAYING.

YOU ARE BACK PEDALING?

>> I'M NOT.

>> Stephen: HIGH FIVE, BUDDY.

YOU WERE ACTUALLY SAYING THAT

PLAYING AROUND OUTSIDE A

RELATIONSHIP CAN BE GOOD.

>> IT CAN SAVE A MARRIAGE AT

TIMES.

>> Stephen: FOOLING AROUND CAN

SAVE A MARRIAGE.

THANK YOU FOR SAYING THAT.

[LAUGHTER]

BECAUSE I HAVE BEEN SAYING FOR

YEARS THAT GAY PEOPLE ARE TRYING

TO DESTROY THE INSTITUTION OF

MARRIAGE AND NOW THAT YOU ARE

MARRIED YOU ARE DESTROYING IT

FROM THE INSIDE.

>> GAY PEOPLE ARE FORCING

STRAIGHT FOAM ADMIT THEY

REDEFINED MARRIAGE DECADES AGO.

IT WAS A PROPERTY TRANSACTION

WHERE A MAN TOOK POSSESSION OF

ANOTHER MAN'S PROPERTY, DAUGHTER

AND THEN WIFE.

>> Stephen: I STILL BELIEVE IN

A DOWRY.

I GOT MANY CATTLE WHEN I GOT

MARRIED.

>> IT'S A LEGAL UNION OF TWO

EQUALS AND THEY GET TO DEFINE

IT.

IT COULD BE MONOGAMOU S,

RELIGIOUS OR NOT.

IT'S UP TO THAT COUPLE.

THAT INSTITUTION.

THERE'S NO LOGICAL CASE THAT CAN

BE MADE TO EXCLUDE GAY PEOPLES

FROM AN INTUITION THAT DOESN'T

INCLUDE STRAIGHT COUPLES

MONOGAMOUS OR NOT.

>> Stephen: HAVE YOU HAD

AFFAIRS?

>> IT DEPENDS IS IT ADULTERY IF

I'M COMMITTING IT AT ONE END OF

THE GUY AND HE IS COMMITTING IT

AT THE OTHER END OF THE SAME --

SAME GUY?

>> TAILGATING.

>> Stephen: GO PACKERS.

>> CHAIN SAWS.

[LAUGHTER]

>> Stephen: YOU SAY -- YOU SAY

THAT IN SEXUAL RELATIONSHIPS ONE

OF REASONS WHY MONOGAMY ISN'T

NECESSARY --

>> I DON'T SAY IT'S NOT

NECESSARY.

IT'S NECESSARY IF YOU REQUIRE

IT.

PEOPLE CAN MAKE THOSE

COMMITMENTS.

YOU JUMBLED UP MY POINT.

IF IT'S IMPORTANT TO A COUPLE

AND THEY WANT TO MAKE A

MONOGAMOUS COMMITMENT, I BELIEVE

IT WORKS FOR THEM STAOEFRBLGTS

WHAT IF ONLY ONE OF THEM WANTS

THAT KIND OF RELATIONSHIP?

>> THAT PERSON SHOULDN'T MAKE

THAT COMMITMENT AND FIND

SOMEBODY THAT DOESN'T WANT THAT

COMMITMENT AND MARRY THAT

PERSON.

>> Stephen: THAT ARGUMENT

AMIES TO GAY PEOPLE BEAUTIFULLY

I'M SURE.

I DON'T KNOW.

I'M MARRIED TO A WOMAN.

I'M NOT MARRIED TO A GUY.

IF YOU WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH

SOMEONE ELSE, I TOTALLY

UNDERSTAND IF WE'RE MARRIED.

BUT I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY I'M

NOT SATISFYING YOU BUT --

>> BUT YOUR WIFE IS MARRIED TO A

MAN AND STRAIGHT WOMEN HAVE TO

BE REALISTIC ABOUT WHAT MEN ARE

AND WHAT MEN ARE LIKE.

I.

>> People: WHO ARE SEXUALLY

SATISFIED WHO AREN'T BOILING ARE

LIKELY TO BE CONTENT AND STAY

MARRIED.

THERE'S SEXLESS MARRIAGES OUT.

THERE WE TELL TELL PEOPLE YOU

SHOULD DIVORCE.

I'M AGAINST DIVORCE.

MY POSITION IS CONSERVATIVE AND

TRADITIONAL.

>> Stephen: YOU ARE

CONSERVATIVE AT WHICH END OF THE

GUY?

[LAUGHTER]

DAN SAVAGE SEX ADVICE COLUMNIST

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