Henry Kissinger Pt. 1

  • Aired:  06/13/11
  •  | Views: 28,346

Henry Kissinger will negotiate with Mao Zedong but has cut off relationships with an eight-year-old. (6:20)

>> WELCOME BACK, EVERYBODY.

THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

NATION, FOLKS, THANK YOU

VERY MUCH.

NATION, TONIGHT IT IS MY

SOLEMN PLEDGE THAT I AM NOT

GOING TO BE SAYING ANYTHING

MORE ABOUT ANTHONY WEINER'S

TAIL ROD.

BUT I DO WANT TO TALK ABOUT

ANOTHER PERSON CONNECTED

WITH THE TRICKY DICK IN MY

ONE PART SERIES BETTER KNOW

A HENRY KISSINGER.

TONIGHT HEN KEY KISSINGER,

THE FIGHTING KISSINGER.

KISSINGER WAS THE MOST

FAMOUS PRACTICE TISHNER OF

REAL POLITIC WHICH IS GERMAN

FOR [BLEEP] ABOUT TO GET

REAL.

KISSINGER ALSO OPENED

AMERICAN

RELATIONS-- RELATIONS TO

CHINA DURING THE COLD WAR.

HE SET UP THE FIRST MEETING

BETWEEN NIXON AND MAO BY

SENDING EACH OF THEM A NOTE

SAYING THE OTHER ONE THOUGHT

THEY WERE CUTE.

KISSINGER SUPPORT FOR SECRET

BOMBINGS IN CAMBODIA HAS

EARNED HIM CRITICISM FROM

CHRISTOPHER HITCH ENS,

DANIEL ELSBURG AND EVERYONE

IN CAMBODIA.

NOW I PERSONALLY AM A HUGE

KISSINGER FAN.

KISSING-- KISSINGER GAVE

HOPE TO NERDS EVERYWHERE BY

MAKING NERD SEXY FAMOUSLY

SAYING POWER IS THE ULTIMATE

APHRODISIAC AND BACKED THAT

UP BY SPENDING MUCH OF THE

'70s IN CLOSED DOOR

NEGOTIATIONS WITH GINA LOLLA

BRIDGEA DID.

MARLA THOMAS AN CANDICE

BERGEN.

HE WAS LIKE JAMES BOND WITH

ASTIGMATISM AND JOWLS.

PLEASE WELCOME HENRY

KISSINGER.

DR. KISSINGER, PLEASE DON'T

GET UP, SIR.

ALL RIGHT, SIR, AS I WAS

EXPLAINING TO MY AUDIENCE IN

THE SECOND ACT OF THE SHOW

THERE ARE SOME OUT THERE WHO

MAY NOT KNOW THE STATURE OF

THE MAN SITTING BEFORE ME.

YOU HAVE ADVISED MANY

PRESIDENTS UNDER DIPLOMACY.

YOU WERE SECRETARY OF STATE

TO BOTH NIXON AND FORD.

YOU RECEIVED THE NOBEL PEACE

PRIZE FOR THE PARIS PEACE

ACCORDS IN 1973.

AND YOU'VE GOT A

PRESIDENTIAL MEDAL OF

FREEDOM.

YOU PUBLISHED NUMEROUS WORKS

ON FOREIGN RELATIONS AND

YOUR NEW BOOK IS CALLED "ON

CHINA"

>> RIGHT.

>> Stephen: WHAT'S IT ABOUT?

(LAUGHTER)

IT'S ABOUT THE RELATIONSHIP

BETWEEN CHINA AND THE UNITED

STATES IN THE-- .

>> Stephen: I GOT A BONE TO

PICK WITH YOU ABOUT THAT.

YOU HELPED OPEN THE DOOR TO

CHINA, OKAY.

AND WHEN YOU LEFT, YOU LEFT

THE DOOR OPEN.

YOU SHOULD HAVE CLOSED IT

WHEN YOU LEFT CHINA BECAUSE

NOW CHINA HAS GOTTEN OUT

INTO THE WORLD AND THEY ARE

A MAJOR COMPETITION.

SHOULDN'T I BLAME YOU FOR

SOME OF THE RISE OF CHINA?

>> WELL, TWO THINGS.

WHEN WE FIRST WENT INTO

CHINA IT WAS A VERY UNDER

DEVELOPED COUNTRY.

>> YEAH.

>> AND NOBODY COULD IMAGINE

THAT CHINA WOULD DEVELOP AS

IT DID.

HAD WE KNOWN IT, WE WOULD

STILL HAVE DONE WHAT WE DID.

BECAUSE IF WE CAN'T HANDLE

THE COMPETITION OF ANOTHER

SIGNIFICANT COUNTRY, WE

WOULDN'T BE WHAT WE'VE BEEN.

>> Stephen: BUT YOU ARE NOT

ALLAYING MY FEARS HERE, SIR.

I'M AFRAID THAT CHINA IS

GOING TO BE NUMBER ONE IN

THE WORLD.

PEOPLE KEEP TELLING ME

AMERICA'S HAD THEIR CENTURY.

THIS IS GOING TO BE THE

CHINESE CENTURY.

PLEASE FELL ME THAT'S NOT

THE CASE.

>> I DON'T THINK THAT'S THE

CASE.

>> Stephen: OKAY.

PLAUS PLAS

(APPLAUSE)

WOULD YOU, MR. KISSINGER

WOULD YOU GO SO FAR AS TO

SAY U.S.A. NUMBER ONE?

>> I WOULD SAY NOW WE ARE

STILL NUMBER ONE.

I BELIEVE WE WILL REMAIN

NUMBER ONE FOR ANY

FORESEEABLE FUTURE.

>> Stephen: OKAY.

LET'S TALK ABOUT REAL

POLITICS FOR A SECOND AND

HOW THAT RELATES TO CHINA,

OKAY.

YOU'RE SORT OF THE FACE OF

REAL POLITIC FOR MY

GENERATION.

>> BUT THAT'S BECAUSE PEOPLE

USE A GERMAN WORD SO THAT

THEY CAN DISMISS MY

ARGUMENTS.

>> Stephen: NOT ME.

NOT ME.

>> NOT YOU?

>> Stephen: NOT ME.

I'M ALL IN FAVOR OF REAL

POLITICS.

YOU HAVE TO DO WHAT IS BEST

FOR YOUR COUNTRY, RIGHT.

>> RIGHT.

>> Stephen: GAVE YOU THE

BEST ADVANTAGE OF NATIONAL

SECURITY.

>> YOU HAVE TO UNDERSTAND

THE NATIONAL SECURITY, ABOVE

ALL YOU HAVE TO ANALYZE THE

WORLD AS IT IS AND YOU HAVE

TO UNDERSTAND THAT THERE IS

AN ELEMENT OF POWER IN THE

WORLD.

BUT THERE IS ALSO WITHOUT

VALUES, A POWER BECOMES

ARBITRARY AND UNMANAGEABLE.

SO YOU NEED BOTH.

>> HOW DOES THE UNITED

STATES OR HOW DOES THE WEST

PERCEIVE THE POWER

RELATIONSHIP?

HOW ARE WE PLAYING THIS GAME

WITH THEM?

YOU'VE SAID THAT WE PLAY

CHESS AND THEY PLAY

SOMETHING MORE LIKE THE GAME

GO, THE CHINESE GAME GO.

WHERE IT'S WHAT IS THE

DIFFERENCE BETWEEN THOSE

TWO?

>> WELL, CHESS, THE PURPOSE

OF CHESS IS TOTAL VICTORY.

THERE IS-- YOU START WITH

ALL THE PIECES ON THE BOARD

AND THEN THERE'S A PROCESS

OF ATTRITION.

AND AT THE END OF IT, THE

OPPONENT IS CHECKMATED.

>> Stephen: IS THAT WHAT THE

COLE WAR WAS LIKE, WE THE

UNITED STATES AND OUR ALLIES

WERE THE KING AND QUEEN AND

THE OTHER COUNTRIES OF THE

WORLD WERE THE PAWNS IN

FRONT OF IT?

>> AND FINALLY IT WINDS UP

WITH THE KING, WITH ONE KING

BEING DONE.

THAT'S HOW CHESS-- .

>> Stephen: OR IF YOUR

SISTER IS BEATING YOU AT

CAMP YOU JUST THROW THE

BOARD UP INTO THE AIR AND

RUN AWAY CRYING.

>> WELL-- THAT'S HOW I WIN.

(LAUGHTER)

>> I HAVE AN 8-YEAR-OLD

GRANDSON WITH WHOM I PLAY

CHESS.

>> Stephen: DOES HE BEAT

YOU.

>> HE IS STARTING TO BEAT

ME.

SO I HAVE STOPPED PLAYING

WITH HIM.

(LAUGHTER)

(APPLAUSE)

>> Stephen: OH.

YOU'LL NEGOTIATE WITH MAO

TSE TUNG BUT WILL YOU CUT

OFF RELATIONSHIP WITH AN

8-YEAR-OLD.

TELL Y

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