Thought for Food - KFC's Go Cup & Powerful Yogurt

  • Aired:  10/22/13
  •  | Views: 34,836

KFC revolutionizes fast food, Stephen introduces wheel meat, and the food industry targets a new breed of male shoppers. (4:57)

FOLKS, THEY SAY YOU CAN'T MAKEAN OMELET WITHOUT BREAKING A FEW

EGGS.

I SAY THEY'VE NEVER TRIED MYWESTERN SCRUNCH SCRAMBLER.

THIS IS THOUGHT FOR FOOD.

YOU KNOW, I'M ALWAYS ON THELOOKOUT FOR INNOVATIONS AND FAST

FOODS.

THAT'S WHY I WAS SO EXCITED BYTHIS NEW CONCEPT IN EATING

QUICKLY.

>> WHAT'S THAT?

>> KFSK GO-CUP.

>> THAT LOOKS BETTER THAN THIS.

>> 10-31 IN PROGRESS.

>> YOU TAKE THIS.

>> Stephen: CHICKEN AND FRIESTOGETHER IN A CUP?

THIS IS GOING TO REVOLUTIONIZETHE WAY I EAT MEET.

IF YOU'RE WONDERING WHAT A"10-31 IN PROGRESS MEANS" THE

CALIFORNIA HIGHWAY PATROL SAYSIT'S AN ATTEMPTED SUICIDE.

WHICH--( LAUGHTER )

( APPLAUSE )WE LOOKED IT UP.

WE LOOKED IT UP.

WHICH, INTENTALLY, IS HOW THEU.S.D.A. CLASSIFIES THE GO-CUP.

( LAUGHTER )( APPLAUSE )

ED ASTHIS AD MADE ME FOR THE NEWPOTATO AND POULTRY BIG GULP, THE

K.F.C. SALES DEPARTMENT HASNOTHING ON THE INTEGRATE THE

MARKETING GENIUSES AT FOX NEWS.

>> K.F.C. RELEASING GO-CUPSHOLDING THE ENTIRE COMBO MEALS,

CHICKEN AND FRIES IN EASY REACH.

GOOD IDEA.

>> REVOLUTIONARY CUP IS MADE TOFIT INSIDE YOUR CAR'S CUP

HOLDER.

>> Stephen: AND THE FOX ANDFRIENDS PRODUCT PLACEMENT DID

NOT STOP THERE.

THEY WERE JOINED ON THE COMFYCOUCH BY A TALKING DRUMMED

STICK.

( LAUGHTER )( APPLAUSE )

FOLKS, THE GO-CUP IS A GOODIDEA, BUT IT COULD BE GOODER.

LAST TIME I CHECKED, THE CUPHOLDER IS STILL AN ARM'S LENGTH

AWAY FROM THE OLD GRUB-CHUTE,AND IT'S NOT LIKE YOU CAN PUT

THE GO-CUP BETWEEN YOUR LEGS.

THAT'S WHERE THE TUB OF BEN &JERRY'S GOES.

ALL THE, EFFECTIVE BIRTHCONTROL.

CHILLS DOWN THE SWIRMS.

FOLKS, TONIGHT, I AM PROUD TOINTRODUCE MY OWN BETTER IDEA,

K.F.C.'S WHEEL MEAT.

( LAUGHTER )( APPLAUSE )

YES.

THE WHEEL MEAT.

IT'S A ONE-PIECE CIRCULARMACRO-NUGGET THAT MOUNTS SNUGLY

ON TO YOUR STEERING COLUMN.

YOU GET TWO SAUCES -- HONEMUSTARD ON THE LEFT, AND

BARBECUE ON THE RIGHT.

AND YOUR CHICKEN GETS SOFTTHROUGH THE NATURAL COURSE OF

TURNING.

AND REMEMBER, IT'S HANDS AT 10AND 2, MOUTH AT 12.

( LAUGHTER )WHEN IT'S TIME FOR DE-- DEJERT

RAM INTO A TELEPHONE POLEBECAUSE YOUR AIRBAG IS NOW APPLE

PIE.

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ).

NEXT UP, AS A PROUD MALE GROCERYSHOPPER I'M SHOCKED BY A NEW

ARTICLE IN THE "WALL STREETJOURNAL" THE REPORT THAT MEN ARE

DOING A GREATER SHARE OF THEGROCERY SHOPPING AND MEAL

PREPARATION.

EVEN MORE SHOCK-- THIS IS NOT ANARTICLE FROM 1952.

( LAUGHTER )THE GOOD-- LET'S CALL IT NEWS--

IS THAT THE FOOD INDUSTRY ISTAKING NOTICE.

>> JUST HOW MANLY IS YOUR FOOD?

THEY'RE INJECTING TESTOSTERONEFUEL MARKETING INTO THEIR BRAND.

>> ONE OF MY FAVORITES ISPOWERFUL YOGURT.

THEY FELT THE YOGURT SECTIONFELT OVERLY FEMALE.

YOU CAN SEE THE BULL HORNSPROMOTING PROTEIN.

>> Stephen: YUP, BULL'SHORNS.

THIS YOGURT IS EXTRA MANLYBECAUSE EVIDENTLY IT'S MADE FROM

BULL MILK.

( LAUGHTER )( APPLAUSE )

VERY DIFFICULT TO ACQUIRE.

BUT THE BULL WILL THANK YOU.

( APPLAUSE )POWERFUL YOGURT, FOLKS, POWERFUL

YOGURT IS JUST ONE OF THE MANYPRODUCTS TARGETED AT A NEW BREED

OF MALE SHOPPERS THAT MARKETERSARE CALLING MANFLUENCERS.

I CAN TELL YOU, THEY'RE VERY MANFLEWENTIAL.

THEY ALSO MANFLUENCED ME INTOTHINKING MANFLUENCE IS A WORD.

AND THE TESTOSTERONE DOES NOTSTOP WITH THE MACHO COLOR

SCHEMES.

MARKETERS ARE REBRANDINGPRODUCTS WITH MAN-FRIENDLY NAMES

LIKE KILLER BREAD, AND ULTIMATEHAMBURGER HELPER.

ALTHOUGH, THIS FTHEY REALLYWANTED TO BRO IT UP, THEY'D CALL

IT "HAMBURGER SHOPPER."

WE'LL BE RIGHT

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