Asian Immigration Threat

  • Aired:  06/20/12
  •  | Views: 26,808

Asian immigrants are the new Mexicans, and even a super awesome wall around China won't curb their invasion. (3:27)

(AUDIENCE CHANTING "STEPHEN").

>> Stephen: WELCOME TO "THE "REPORT", EVERYBODY, GOOD TO HAVE YOU WITH US.

WELCOME TO OUR TWO OF "THE REPORT".

(LAUGHTER) NATION...

(LAUGHTER).

KIND OF FEELS LIKE IT FOR THOSE OF THEM WHO ARE IN THE STUDIO WITH ME RIGHT NOW.

FOLKS, I DON'T HAVE TO TELL YOU THAT ILLEGAL IMMIGRATION IS A PROBLEM IN THIS COUNTRY.

BECAUSE I CAN PAY A MEXICAN TO TELL YOU FOR ME.

(LAUGHTER) BUT THIS WEEK A PEW RESEARCH STUDY REVEALED THE MOST SHOCKING NEW THREAT TO OUR POUROUS

BORDERS SINCE THE HISPANI-PULT.

(LAUGHTER) JIMMY?

LET'S FRIGHTEN SOME PEOPLE.

>> ASIAN AMERICANS NOW THE FASTEST-GROWING RACE IN THE UNITED STATES.

ASIANS OVERTOOK HISPANICS BETWEEN 2000 AND 2010 WHEN IT COMES TO THE PERCENTAGE OF

PEOPLE IMMIGRATING TO THE COUNTRY.

>> Stephen: YES!

ASIANS ARE THE NEW MEXICANS!

(LAUGHTER) OUR NACHO NEMESIS HAS MORPHED INTO A RAMEN RIVAL.

(LAUGHTER) AND WORSE, THEY KNOW ALL OUR LUCKY NUMBERS!

(LAUGHTER) I NEVER TOLD ANYONE ABOUT 34!

EVIDENTLY, THIS INV-ASIAN IS DUE TO AN INCREASED DEMAND FOR HIGHLY SKILLED WORKERS WITH MANY

RECRUITED BY U.S. COMPANIES.

NATION, WE'RE GETTING BOXED IN!

MEXICANS DO THE JOBS WE DON'T WANT TO DO AND ASIANS DO THE JOBS WE'RE NOT ABLE TO DO.

(LAUGHTER) I BELIEVE...

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) I BELIEVE THAT LEAVES ONLY THREE JOBS FOR WHITE AMERICANS:

SENATOR, RALPH LAUREN MODEL OR freecreditreport.com BAND MEMBER.

(APPLAUSE) NOW, FOLKS, REMEMBERS SAW THIS THREAT COMING.

THAT'S WHY THE G.O.P. HISPANIC OUTREACH WEB PAGE FEATURED A STOCK PHOTO OF ASIAN CHILDREN.

(LAUGHTER) THEY KNOW THAT ASIANS ARE JUST KUNG FU MEXICANS.

(LAUGHTER) NATION, AFTER WE FINISH OUR MEXICAN BORDER WALL, WE NEED AN

EVEN BIGGER WALL AROUND CHINA!

(LAUGHTER) AND I MEAN A GOOD WALL!

NO, NO, SCRATCH THAT.

MORE THAN A GOOD WALL, A SUPER AWESOME WALL!

THE SUPER AWESOME WALL OF CHINA.

YES, JIMMY, SOMETHING LIKE THAT,

BUT IN CHINA.

(LAUGHTER) WAIT A SECOND, WHAT AM I SAY SOMETHING A WALL WON'T HELP.

THESE JUAN-TONS ARE DIRECTLY BELOW US ON THE PLANET.

THEY CAN JUST DIG THEIR WAY UP INTO THE UNITED STATES.

(LAUGHTER) WE NEED A FULL STEEL BARRIER ACROSS THE FLOOR OF AMERICA!

AND WE SHOULD ELECTRIFY IT.

OF COURSE, THAT MEANS WE'LL ALL HAVE TO WEAR RUBBER SHOES.

WOW, THAT'S A LOT OF SHOES.

WAIT A SEC