Florida's Bong Bill

  • Aired:  04/02/13
  •  | Views: 49,672

Under a Florida bill, any retailer that sells marijuana smoking pipes could be charged with a first-degree misdemeanor. (2:49)

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

>> Stephen: WELCOME BACK, EVERYBODY.

NATION, I DON'T KNOW ABOUT YOU, BUT I'VE BEEN DISMAYED BY THE NUMBER OF STATES CHILLAXING

THEIR MARIJUANA LAWS.

JUST THIS PAST NOVEMBER, BALLOT INITIATIVES LEGALIZING RECREATIONAL MARIJUANA PASSED IN

COLORADO AND WASHINGTON WITH BROAD SUPPORT.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

YEAH, YEAH, DON'T WORRY WE'LL STOP THEM.

[ LAUGHTER ]

THANKFULLY, ONE STATE IS TRYING TO WEED OUT THE PROBLEM.

[LAUGHTER]

JIM?

>> A FLORIDA BILL THAT WOULD OUTLAW THE SALE OF BONGS IS PASSING A HOUSE SUBCOMMITTEE.

UNDER THAT BILL, ANY RETAILER THAT SELLS THE PIPES USED FOR SMOKING MARIJUANA WOULD BE CHARGED.

>> Stephen: SORRY, SUNSHINE STATE STONERS.

IF YOU WANT TO GET HIGH IN FLORIDA, YOU'LL HAVE TO GET A PRESCRIPTION LIKE EVERYONE ELSE.

[LAUGHTER]

UNDER HOUSE BILL 49, IT WILL BE A FIRST-DEGREE MISDEMEANOR TO SELL METAL, WOODEN, ACRYLIC,

GLASS, STONE, PLASTIC, OR CERAMIC SMOKING PIPES.

[LAUGHTER]

WITH OR WITHOUT SCREENS, PERMANENT SCREENS, OR PUNCTURED METAL BOWLS, WATER PIPES,

CARBURETION TUBES AND DEVICES.

-- CHAMBER PIPES, CARBURETOR PIPES, ELECTRIC PIPES, AIR-DRIVEN PIPES, CHILLUMS,

BONGS, ICE PIPES OR CHILLERS.

[LAUGHTER]

FOLKS, THIS IS A COMPREHENSIVE LIST OF MELLOWS THAT HAVE BEEN HARSHED.

[LAUGHTER]

BUT I'M DISAPPOINTED.

THIS BILL DOESN'T EVEN BEGIN TO COVER THE THINGS STONERS CAN USE AS PARAPHERNALIA:

APPLES, SODA CANS, WATER BOTTLES, HONEY BEARS, ALUMINUM FOIL, TRAFFIC CONES, EMPTY ICE

CREAM PINTS.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

STONERS ARE LIKE MACGUYVER.

THEY CAN TURN ANY HOUSEHOLD ITEM INTO A BONG -- AND THEN SPEND THE AFTERNOON WATCHING

"MACGUYVER."

[LAUGHTER]

I'M TELLING YOU.

LISTEN TO ME, FOLKS -- DON'T PUT ANYTHING PAST THESE DOOBIE DO-IT-YOURSELFERS.

EQUIPPED WITH A STINKY NUG AND NO PIPE, THERE IS NOTHING THEY CANNOT SHALL EXCUSE ME, WHAT ARE

YOU DOING DONE THERE?

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

>> SORRY MAN, IS THIS YOUR SHOE?

>> Stephen: YES.

YES, IT'S MY SHOE.

>> I DIDN'T THINK YOU WERE USING IT.

>>

>> Stephen: I AM.

>> SORRY MAN.

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