US Defeats Algeria

  • Aired:  06/23/10
  •  | Views: 59,207

Under General Petraeus's command, America defeats its longtime deadly enemy, Algeria, at the World Cup. (2:49)

TALKING ABOUT TODAY.

IN A ROSE GARDEN CEREMONY,

PRESIDENT OBAMA DUMPED GENERAL

STANLEY McCHRYSTAL AS

COMMANDER IN AFGHANISTAN AND

REPLACED HIM WITH GENERAL DAVID

PETRAEUS.

NOW, McCHRYSTAL GOT THE AXE

AFTER HE RIPPED THE

ADMINISTRATION IN "ROLLING

STONE" MAGAZINE, EVEN SAYING

THAT PRESIDENT OBAMA WAS

UNIMPRESSIVE AND LOOKED

INTIMIDATED IN THE PRESENCE OF

MILITARY OFFICERS, AND YOU DON'T

WANT TO KNOW WHAT HE SAID ABOUT

JOE BIDEN IN "PEOPLE."

[LAUGHTER]

NOW, THIS MIGHT SHOCK YOU,

FOLKS, BUT I ACTUALLY AGREE WITH

THE PRESIDENT'S DECISION TO

REPLACE McCHRYSTAL.

AFTER ALL, UNDER GENERAL

PETRAEUS' COMMAND, WE HAVE

ALREADY DEFEATED ONE HOSTILE

MUSLIM NATION.

I'M REFERRING, OF COURSE TO,

ALGERIA.

GOOOOOOOOOAL!

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

>> AUDIENCE: U-S-A, U-S-A,

U-S-A, U-S-A, U-S-A!

>> Stephen: OF COURSE, ALGERIA

IS A LONGTIME DEADLY ENEMY.

I BELIEVE ALGERIA IS WHERE

ALLERGIES COME FROM.

[LAUGHTER]

NOT TO MENTION ALGEBRA AND AL

JARREAU.

AND WE WON THIS GAME IN STYLE

WITH A GAME-SAVING EXTRA-TIME

GOAL BY LANDON DONOVAN.

MY MISTAKE.

PRESIDENT DONOVAN.

2012.

YOU HEARD IT HERE FIRST.

GET HAIRPIECE.

NOW, NATION, I DON'T KNOW WHY,

BUT SUDDENLY I REALIZED THAT I

AM A LONGTIME FAN OF SOCCER.

JIMMY, SHOW THEM HOW MUCH I'VE

ALWAYS LOVED SOCCER.

SOCCER, THE SPORT FOR FOURTH

GRADERS THAT FOREIGN PEOPLE TAKE

SERIOUSLY.

IN FACT, IN HONOR OF OUR

VICTORY, FOR THE REST OF THE

SHOW, I AM PLAYING BY SOCCER

RULES.

NO HANDS FOR ANYTHING.

I THINK I'LL HAVE A DRINK OF

WATER.

[LAUGHTER]

[LAUGHTER]

YOU KNOW WHAT, I'M NOT THIRSTY

RIGHT NOW.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

I

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