Elusive, Mysterious, Undecided Voters

  • Aired:  10/23/12
  •  | Views: 49,096

The electoral kitchen is closing in two weeks, and some voters still can't decide if they want the black and white cookie or the decaf Wheat Thin. (3:56)

"HE LOOKS LIKE HE COULD SIT IN AN OVAL ROOM." (LAUGHTER) PLAUSIBILITY IS A HUGE VICTORY FOR ROMNEY BECAUSE THIS RACE IS

NECK AND NECK.

>> WE'VE SEEN THIS LATEST POLL OUT OF THE NBC AND "WALL STREET JOURNAL." 47/47, PRETTY MUCH CORRESPONDS

WITH WHAT WE'RE SEEING OUT THERE.

AN ABSOLUTE DEAD HEAT.

>> Stephen: AS WE KNOW FROM HISTORY, THE RULES CLEARLY DICTATE THAT IN THE EVENT OF A TIE OUR NEXT PRESIDENT WILL BE

GEORGE W. BUSH.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) WE MISS YOU, SIR.

WE MISS YOU.

BUT AT THIS POINT, EITHER CANDIDATE STILL HAS A SHOT AS LONG AS THEY CAN WIN OVER ONE KEY DEMOGRAPHIC.

>> PRESIDENT OBAMA AND GOVERNOR ROMNEY FACED OFF.

MANY POLLS SHOWING THEM RUNNING NECK IN NECK, MAKING THE REMAINING UNDECIDED VOTERS MORE IMPORTANT THAN EVER.

>> THE UNDECIDED VOTERS.

THE VOTERS IN THE SWING STATES WHO COULD DECIDE THIS ELECTION.

>> MITT ROMNEY AND BARACK OBAMA YEARN FOR THEIR VOTE, THE ELUSIVE MYSTERIOUS UNDECIDED VOTER.

(LAUGHTER)

>> Stephen: YES, THEY YEARN.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) YES.

ELUSIVE, MYSTERIOUS UNDECIDED VOTERS.

I WONDER WHAT HE'S THINKING.

(LAUGHTER) OR IF.

(LAUGHTER) FOLKS, FOLKS, HERE'S HOW IT STANDS.

THE ELECTORAL KITCHEN IS CLOSING IN TWO WEEKS AND THEY STILL CAN'T DECIDE IF THEY WANT THE BLACK-AND-WHITE COOKIE OR THE

DECAF WHEAT THIN.

(LAUGHTER) THEY'RE ELUSIVE!

BUT WE KNOW THAT THEY'RE OUT THERE!

THESE CAMPAIGNS HAVE SPENT BILLIONS OF DOLLARS TRYING TO CAPTURE THEM WITH LAWN SIGNS, T.V. ADS, RADIO SPOTS, INTERNET

BANNERS, ROBOCALLS AND, FOR SOME LUCKY OHIO VOTERS, AN AMOROUS DAVID AXELROD WITH A ROSE IN HIS TEETH.

(LAUGHTER) BUT A FEW AND THE LIESING FACTS ABOUT THESE MYSTERIOUS CREATURES HAVE EMERGED.

>> UNDECIDED VOTER THEY SAY TYPICALLY A SINGLE WHITE FEMALE BETWEEN 18 AND 29 YEARS OLD, SHE HAS A JOB WITH A LOW INCOME, SHE

DID NOT GRADUATE FROM COLLEGE.

ACCORDING TO THIS POLL SHE SKIPPED WATCHING THE DEBATE.

>> Stephen: FASCINATING.

THE PERSON WHO WILL DECIDE THIS RACE IS A LIKELY VOTER WHO IS A YOUNG WOMAN WITH LOW INCOME AND LOW EDUCATION WHO IS ALSO

ISOLATED FROM ANY NEWS.

(LAUGHTER) WELL, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, TONIGHT I HAVE FOUND ONE SUCH VOTER.

FROM THE SWING STATE OF NORTH CAROLINA, UNDECIDED VOTER NELL.

THANK YOU FOR JOINING ME, NELL.

(LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE) THANK YOU SO MUCH.

NOW, NELL, NELL, YOU ARE A FERAL BACK-WOODS WOMAN WHO KNOWS NOTHING OF EITHER OF THESE CANDIDATES OR, FOR THAT MATTER,

HUMAN SOCIETY.

(LAUGHTER) WHICH WAY ARE YOU LEANING NOW?

>> ROM-A-NAY.

MITT ROM-A-NAY!

>> Stephen: OKAY, SO YOU'RE LEANING ROMNEY AT THIS POINT.

WHAT IT IS ABOUT ROMNEY'S MESSAGE THAT-- AND, AGAIN, YOU KNOW NOTHING ABOUT HIM-- THAT APPEALS TO YOU.

OBARMA.

BARACKA OBARMA.

>> Stephen: I'M SORRY, DID YOU SAY OBAMA?

ARE YOU READY TO DO FOR MORE YEARS?

>> I'M LIKE-A-LAY.

LIKE-A-LAY.

>> Stephen: I'M AWARE OF THAT.

YOU ARE A LIKELY VOTER.

WE'VE ESTABLISHED THAT MUCH.

BUT WHICH CANDIDATE ARE YOU LIKE-A-LAY TO VOTE FOR?

(LAUGHTER)

>> SANTOR-UM.

>> Stephen: RICK SANTORUM IS NOT IN THE RACE ANY MORE!

JUST MAKE UP YOUR MIND!

COME ON!

IS IT ROMNEY OR OBAMA?

>> ROM-BAMA-NEY ROM-BAMA-NEY.

>> Stephen: WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

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