Wall Street Under Siege

  • Aired:  09/21/11
  •  | Views: 115,668

Occupy Wall Street, a self-described leaderless resistance movement, intends to occupy Wall Street until their one demand is decided upon and met. (3:06)

>> Stephen: WELCOME BACK,

EVERYBODY.

THANKS VERY MUCH.

NATION, ALL WEEK WALL STREET HAS

BEEN UNDER SIEGE BY A PROTEST

CALLED "OCCUPY WALL STREET," A

SELF-DESCRIBED LEADERLESS

RESISTANCE MOVEMENT WHICH

INTENDS TO OCCUPY WALL STREET

FOR MONTHS.

BECAUSE IF THERE'S ONE THING NEW

YORKERS NEVER IGNORE, IT'S

PEOPLE SLEEPING IN A PARK.

THE PROTEST STARTED ON THE WEB

SITE AD BUSTERS, WHICH DECLARES

"ONCE THERE WE SHALL INCESSANTLY

REPEAT OUR ONE SIMPLE DEMAND

UNTIL BARACK OBAMA CAPITULATES."

AND WHAT IS THEIR ONE SIMPLE

DEMAND?

WELL, IN A BLOG POST ENTITLED

"HEY, PRESIDENT OBAMA, GET READY

FOR OUR ONE DEMAND," THEY STATE,

"WE WILL BEAT OUR DRUMS, CHANT

OUR SLOGANS AND THEN WE'LL GET

DOWN TO BUSINESS AND HOLD

SEVERAL PEOPLE'S ASSEMBLIES TO

DECIDE WHAT OUR ONE DEMAND WILL

BE."

I PREDICT THE PEOPLE'S ASSEMBLY

WILL DEMAND THE HACKY SACK

BELONG TO EVERYONE IN THE HEMP

FIBER UNIVERSE.

SO TODAY I SENT A CAMERA CREW TO

FILM THE FABULOUS FURRY FREAK

SHOW AND FIND OUT JUST WHAT

THESE MOON UNITS ARE DEMANDING

THROUGH THEIR CLOUDS OF BONG

SMOKE.

JIMMY, TEAR ME OFF A PIECE OF

MINDLESS HIPPIE ARGLE-BARGLE.

>> WE WANT POLITICAL MONEY TO BE

CLEAN MONEY.

WE DON'T WANT CORPORATIONS

DONATING HUGE AMOUNTS OF MONEY

TO POLITICIANS THEN WHEN THEY

GET ELECTED ENACTING THE WILL OF

THOSE CORPORATIONS.

>> STEPHEN: NO, JIMMY, CRAZY

STUFF, DRUG-ADDLED COMMUNE

DWELLERS WHO DON'T KNOW POLITICS

FROM PATCHOULI.

>> IN ORDER FOR THE PEOPLE IN

THE UNITED STATES TO HAVE AN

ADEQUATE VOICE, WE NEED TO MAKE

SURE IT'S NOT BEING DROWNED OUT

BY THE FACT THAT WE DON'T

NECESSARILY HAVE MILLIONS OF

DOLLARS TO CONTRIBUTE TO A

CANDIDATE.

>> STEPHEN: HE MAKES A GOOD

POINT.

OBVIOUSLY EVERYONE... NO, GOD

DAMMIT.

JIMMY, I WANT A LIBERAL, SOME

NUT JOB IN A BURLAP SACK WITH A

SQUIRREL HAT AND GOGGLES THAT

DOES PERFORMANCE ART AND PUPPET

SHOWS IN THE SUBWAY.

>> I GUESS ONE REASON I DO

PERFORMANCE ART, PUPPET SHOWS IN

THE SUBWAY AND ON THE STREETS,

IS BECAUSE I DON'T REALLY HAVE

ANY HOPE AT ALL FOR THE FUTURE

OF THE WORLD.

>> Stephen: LIBERALS.

THEY SHOULD BE ARRESTED.

LUCKILY THEY ARE BECAUSE ON

SATURDAY POLICE BOOKED A

28-YEAR-OLD MAN FOR LOITERING

AND WEARING A MASK.

IT TURNS OUT NEW YORK HAS A LAW

PASSED IN 1845 BANNING MASKED

GATHERINGS.

AS IT SHOULD, FOLKS, PEOPLE IN

MASKS SHOULD NOT BE ON WALL

STREET.

LESSONS FOR ONE OF THOSE "EYES

WIDE SHUT" SEX PARTIES.

NOW WHY DO THESE PEOPLE HAVE

MASKS ON IN THE FIRST PLACE?

I WANT TO KNOW, WHAT ARE THEY

HIDING?

BECAUSE A MASK IS JUST A LIE YOU

WEAR ON YOUR FACE.

THAT'S WHAT MY MOTHER ALWAYS

SAID.

WHICH IS WHY EVERY HALLOWEEN I

WENT DRESSED AS A SAD BOY.

WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

[CHEERING AND APPLAUSE]

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