Fallback Position - Migrant Worker Pt. 1

  • Aired:  09/22/10
  •  | Views: 66,889

Stephen asks Zoe Lofgren how hard it is to be a migrant farm worker and if she wants to make an anchor baby. (5:08)

EVERYBODY.

THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

YOU KNOW, FOLKS, YOU MAY

REMEMBER THAT BACK IN JULY OF

THIS YEAR, I MET WITH UNITED

FARM WORKERS' PRESIDENT ARTURO

RODRIGUEZ.

HE WAS PROMOTING HIS TAKE OUR

JOBS PLEASE CAMPAIGN.

WHERE ANY AMERICAN WAS OFFERED

ONE OF THE JOBS PRESENTLY HELD

BY IMMIGRANT FARM WORKERS.

JIM?

HOW MANY PEOPLE OF EVERYONE IN

AMERICA HAVE TAKEN YOU UP ON

THIS?

>> ONLY THREE RIGHT NOW ARE

ACTUALLY WORKING IN THE FIELDS.

>> Stephen: THREE PEOPLE.

>> THREE PEOPLE.

>> Stephen: MAKE THAT FOUR.

I'LL DO IT.

>> ALL RIGHT.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

>> Stephen: NOW, OF COURSE,

THE IMMIGRANT JOB I WAS HOPING

FOR WAS MEXICAN WRESTLER.

SO I CAN FINALLY TAKE DOWN AND

AVENGE MYSELF.

BUT ARTURO HAD FARMING ON HIS

MIND, SO I SAID EIEI YES.

AFTER ALL, THESE UNCERTAIN

TIMES, YOU NEVER KNOW WHAT'S

AROUND THE CORNER.

I MIGHT LOSE MY PUNDIT JOB.

SO I GRABBED MY OVERALLS AND

SAID, GOOD-BYE, CITY LIFE.

THIS IS "STEPHEN COLBERT'S

FALLBACK POSITION: MIGRANT

WORKER"

♪ HALLELUJAH ♪♪

I HEADED TO GILL FARMS IN

HURLEY, NEW YORK, TO TEST MY

METTLE AS AN IMMIGRANT FARM

WORKER.

FIRST I HEADED TO THE HAY LOFT

WITH THE CHAIR WOMAN OF THE

HOUSE SUBCOMMITTEE ON

IMMIGRATION AND NOTORIOUS

MEXICAN HUGGER.

CONGRESSMAN, THANKS SO MUCH FOR

TALKING TO ME TODAY.

>> YOU BET.

>> Stephen: WHY ARE YOU SO

PASSIONATE ABOUT THE RIGHTS OF

MIGRANT FARM WORKERS?

>> WE WOULDN'T HAVE CROPS THAT

ARE HARVESTED IF THEY WEREN'T

HERE.

WE HAVE TWO SIDES OF THE BORDER.

>> Stephen: TWO SIDES.

>> ONE SAYS NO TRESPASSING, AND

THE OTHER SAYS HELP WANTED.

>> Stephen: JUST TAKE DOWN THE

HELP WANTED SIGN.

PROBLEM SOLVED.

WE COULD GET A LOT OF PEOPLE IN

AMERICA BACK TO WORK.

>> THAT'S WHY THIS NEW CAMPAIGN

OF THE FARM WORKERS UNION IS SO

INTERESTING.

"TAKE OUR JOBS PLEASE."

>> Stephen: WHY DO YOU THINK

SO FEW AMERICANS HAVE TAKEN UP

THIS CHALLENGE?

>> IT'S TOUGH, DIRTY WORK.

>> Stephen: YOU'RE SAYING

AMERICANS AREN'T TOUGH, MADAM?

>> IT'S HOT.

>> Stephen: ARE YOU SAYING

AMERICANS ARE PUSSIES?

>> I'D NEVER SAY AMERICANS ARE

PUSSIES.

>> Stephen: I THINK YOU JUST

SAID THAT.

WAIT A MINUTE.

LET'S ROLL THE TAPE BACK.

>> ...AMERICANS ARE PUSSIES.

>> Stephen: THERE!

YOU JUST SAID AMERICANS ARE

PUSSIES.

>> 16 AMERICANS HAVE SHOWN UP.

PERHAPS IT WILL BE AN EXAMPLE

AND TWO MILLION AMERICANS WILL

SHOW UP.

>>

>> Stephen: THIS ALL SEEMS

ARCHAIC TO ME.

WE DON'T GET OUR FOOD FROM FARMS

ANYMORE.

WE GET IT FROM THE GROCERY

STORE.

>> AND WE GET OUR WEATHER FROM

THE WEATHER CHANNEL.

>> Stephen: HUH?

>> WHAT?

WE COULD JUST EAT TOTALLY

PROCESSED FOOD.

>> Stephen: THAT SOUNDS

DELICIOUS.

>> WE COULD IMPORT ALL OF OUR

SUGAR AND JUST EAT CANDY.

>> Stephen: LET'S ROTATE CROPS

FOR A SECOND.

HOW HARD IS IT REALLY TO BE A

MIGRANT FARM WORKER?

BECAUSE I LOOK AROUND HERE,

BEAUTIFUL LOCATION, PLENTY OF

FRESH AIR, EXERCISE, ALL THE

INDIVIDUAL TACKLES YOU CAN EAT.

IT SEEMS MORE LIKE A FAT CAMP.

>> WELL, YOU GET UP EARLY.

USUALLY YOU START WORK AROUND

5:00 OR 5:30.

I THINK YOU'LL FIND IT'S

CHALLENGING.

>> Stephen: LOVE A CHALLENGE.

I DO SUDOKU.

>> YOU'LL FIND YOU'RE SWEATY,

YOU'RE DIRTY, YOUR MUSCLES WILL

ACHE.

>> Stephen: IF I WANT TO BE A

MAY GRANT WORKER, WHAT DO WE DO

FIRST?

SHOULD WE MAKE AN ANCHOR BABY?

>> WHAT?

>>

>> Stephen: THAT'S WHAT THEY

DO HERE.

THEY COME HERE AND THAT STEAL

OUR JOBS AND THEY MAKE ANCHOR

BABIES.

>> NO.

>> Stephen: YOU'VE HEARD "ROLL

IN THE HAY"?

THIS IS WHERE IT HAPPENS.

>> NO THANK YOU.

>> Stephen: WHAT ABOUT TERROR

BABIES.

PEOPLE COME HERE AND THEY HAVE

THEIR BABIES, AND THEN THEY TAKE

THE BABY DOWN TO THE GROUND ZERO

MOSQUE AND THE BABY BECOMES A

TERRORIST.

THAT COULD HAPPEN.

>> THAT'S ABSURD.

>> Stephen: THEY SAID IT WAS

AN ABSURD MOVIE AND YET THEY

REMADE IT.

>> THEY DID REMAKE THE MOVIE.

I THOUGHT FIRST ONE WAS BETTER.

>> Stephen: I ALL I'M SAYING

IS LET'S MAKE THAT ANCHOR BABY.

>> I DON'T WANT TO GO THERE.

>> Stephen: WILL YOU THINK

ABOUT IT?

>> NO.

>> Stephen: YOU MIND IF I

THINK ABOUT IT FOR A SECOND?

>> IT'S UP TO YOU.

[LAUGHTER]

[APPLAUSE]

OKAY.

ALL RIGHT.

LET'S GET MY FARM ON.

BOOM.

DO IT.

AFTER YOU.

PLEASE.

I THINK YOU SHOULD THINK ABOUT

IT.

>> NO.

>> Stephen: JOIN ME TOMORROW

WHEN I SHOW IMMIGRANTS HOW AN

AMERICAN WORKS THE LAND.

I'M GOING AS FAST AS I CAN,

SANL.

I DON'T NEED THIS PRESSURE.

DO YOU GO TO VEGGIE TALES UP

HERE.

I LOVE JESUS.

YOU MIND NOT CROWDING ME HERE,

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