Blade in the USA

  • Aired:  02/11/14
  •  | Views: 32,389

Team USA clinches several gold medals at the Sochi Olympics, and Stephen invites The Colbert Nation to help the U.S. speedskating team. (2:45)

>> Stephen: WHOOO!

WELCOME TO THE REPORT, THANKYOU FOR JOINING US, LADIES

AND GENTLEMEN.

>> STEPHEN, STEPHEN,STEPHEN!

STEPHEN, STEPHEN, STEPHEN!

STEPHEN, STEPHEN, STEPHEN!

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)>> Stephen: WELCOME TO THE

REPORT, EVERYBODY.

THANK YOU SO MUCH FORJOINING US.

OH, THANK YOU LADIES ANDGENTLEMEN, PLEASE, SIT DOWN.

FOLKS, IT IS YET ANOTHERELECTRIC NIGHT HERE AT THE

REPORT.

WHY?

WHY?

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)WHY, WELL, FIRST OF ALL

BECAUSE IT'S TUESDAY.

(LAUGHTER)ASK ANYBODY, THEY'LL TELL

YOU.

BUT MOSTLY-- (CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

BUT MOSTLY BECAUSE IT'S DAYFIVE OF THE SOCHI WINTER

GAMES.

NOW I'M A BUSY MAN SO I'MNOT COMPLETELY CAUGHT UP ON

THE OLYMPIC ACTION.

I'VE BEEN TiVOING THEM ANDLAST NIGHT I WAS THRILLED TO

SEE THE TEAM USA GABBYDOUGLAS CLINCHED THE

ALL-AROUND GYMNASTIC GOLD.

TRULY HISTORIC.

WAY TO GO, GABBY.

AMERICA LOVES YOU.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)BUT I WAS EXCITED TO READ

THAT TEAM USA HAS ALREADYWON SOME HUGE GOLDS IN SOCHI

LIKE MEN'S AND WOMEN'S SLOPESTYLE.

I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THATIS.

I ASSUME IT'S FOR SHINIESTPARKA.

FOLKS, I GOT TO SAY, THESESOCHI GAMES, THESE OLYMPIC

ATHLETES HAVE ACCOMPLISHEDTHE IMPOSSIBLE.

MAKING ME CARE ABOUTCROSS-COUNTRY SKIING.

(LAUGHTER)AND OF COURSE THE GAMES HOLD

A SPECIAL PLACE IN MY HEARTBECAUSE FOUR YEARS AGO I

SAVED THE OLYMPICS.

THE UNITED STATES SKITEAM--

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)>> WOULD NEVER, WOULD NEVER

HAVE MADE IT TO THE GAMES IFIT WEREN'T FOR MY HARD WORK

AND YOUR HARD CASH.

(LAUGHTER)I WENT WITH THE TEAM TO

VANCOUVER AND BETWEEN US WEWON FOUR OLYMPIC MEDALS FOR

SKATING AND ONE OVERSIZEDSCOOBY DOO FOR WHACK-A-MOLE.

I DON'T WANT TO GET INTO WHOWON WHAT, IT WAS A TEAM

EFFORT.

AND I HAVE NOT GIVEN UP ONMY TEAM.

THIS YEAR YOU CAN HELP THEMOUT BY GOING TO

COLBERTNATION.COM ANDDONATING AND GETTING YOUR

OWN SPECIAL COLBERTNATIONU.S. SPEED SKATING T-SHIRT.

YOUR GREEN, FOLKS, YOURGREEN CAN HELP THE RED,

WHITE AND BLUE BRING HOMETHE GOLD.

ORANGE YOU GLAD?

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