Tangelo-American John Boehner

  • Aired:  07/01/10
  •  | Views: 46,793

John Boehner is going to be hard hit by the tanning tax because his tanning bed is also his bed. (3:09)

NATION, THIS HAS BEEN A VERY

TRYING WEEK FOR A TRUE AMERICAN

HERO.

HOUSE MINORITY LEADER JOHN

BOEHNER, YESTERDAY BARACK OBAMA

ACCUSED BOEHNER OF BEING OUT OF

TOUCH WITH THE STRUGGLES OF

AMERICANS FAMILIES JUST BECAUSE

BOEHNER MADE THIS INNOCENT

OBSERVATION ABOUT THE DEMOCRAT'S

NEW FINANCIAL REFORM BILL.

>> THIS IS KILLING ANTS WITH A

NUCLEAR WEAPON.

>>

>> Stephen: REPUBLICANS PREFER

TO KILL ANTS WITH MAGNIFYING

GLASSES, OR AS THEY CALL IT,

"SUN BOARDING."

[LAUGHTER]

AND THERE IS A GOOD REASON NOT

TO NUKE ANTS.

REMEMBER WHAT HAPPENED THE LAST

TIME WE TRIED IT?

WELCOME TO OBAMA'S AMERICA.

GET USED TO PICNICKING IN BODY

ARMOUR.

THEN TODAY, FOLKS, THERE WAS

ANOTHER SENSELESS PERSONAL

ATTACK ON BOEHNER.

>> THE SO-CALLED TANNING TAX,

ONE OF THE PROVISIONS IN THE NEW

FEDERAL HEALTH CARE LAW GOES

INTO EFFECT TODAY.

>> Stephen: A TANNING TAX.

BOO!

NO TAXATION WITHOUT RADIATION.

AND CLEARLY JOHN BOEHNER IS

GOING TO BE PARTICULARLY HARD

HIT BECAUSE I BELIEVE HIS

TANNING BED IS ALSO HIS BED.

[LAUGHTER]

I HAVE NOT SEEN LEGISLATION SO

SPECIFICALLY TARGETING ONE

REPUBLICAN SINCE THEY PASSED A

TAX ON TURTLE WAX.

[LAUGHTER]

AND BOEHNER -- TRUE.

IT'S A TRUE STORY.

AND BOEHNER HAS BEEN THE SUBJECT

OF VICIOUS HATE SPEECH FROM ONE

MR. JOE SCARBOROUGH.

>> I HEAR IT ON THE HILL.

I'M SURE YOU HEAR IT ON THE HILL

ALL THE TIME.

IT'S NOT REPORTED.

BUT SO MANY REPUBLICANS TELL ME

THIS IS A GUY THAT IS NOT THE

HARDEST WORKER IN THE WORLD.

EVERY REPUBLICANS I TALK TO SAYS

THAT JOHN BOEHNER BY 5:00 OR

6:00 AT NIGHT, YOU CAN SEE HIM

AT BARS.

HE IS NOT A HARD WORKER.

>> WHAT I WOULD SAY THAT IS NOT

THE KNOCK I HEAR MOST

FREQUENTLY.

>> DO YOU HEAR THE KNOCK?

>> I DEFINITELY HEAR PEOPLE FEEL

THAT HE'S NOT COMMITTED TO THE

PARTY.

>> THAT HE'S LAZY.

>> Stephen: OH, SURE, JOE,

BOEHNER'S LAZY JUST BECAUSE HIS

SKIN IS DARKER THAN YOURS.

YOU ARE CLEARLY RACIST AGAINST

TANGELO AMERICANS.

OH, WE'VE ALL HEARD IT.

ORANGE PEOPLE DON'T LIKE TO

WORK.

ORANGE PEOPLE JUST DRINK ALL

DAY.

OH, ORANGE PEOPLE HATE MONDAYS

AND LOVE LASAGNA.

OH.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

ORANGE PEOPLE JUST SIT AROUND ON

THE FRONT STEPS ALL DAY WITH

CANDLES IN THEIR MOUTHS, AND IF

YOU'RE BAD, ORANGE PEOPLE ROLL

YOU AWAY TO THE JUICING ROOM.

NOW, LOOK, I'M NOT SAYING ORANGE

PEOPLE ARE PERFECT, THIS GUY IS

CLEARLY A TWEAKER.

BUT THERE'S A LIMIT.

SO REPRESENTATIVE BOEHNER, LET

ME APOLOGIZE ON BEHALF OF ALL

PUNDITS.

I HOPE THAT NEXT WEEK IS

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