Iran Bans Necklaces and Shorts

  • Aired:  06/15/11
  •  | Views: 81,608

Stephen calls on his Iranian brothers to embrace the bedrock Western value of short shorts. (3:11)

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

>> Stephen: WELCOME TO THE

REPORT.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

[CROWD CHANTING STEPHEN]

THAT'S NICE.

THANK YOU SO MUCH, EVERYBODY.

WELCOME TO THE REPORT.

PLEASE --

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

, PLEASE, FOLKS, NATION, WITH US

TO HAVE YOU GOOD.

I'M SO OUTRAGED I CAN'T KEEP MY

SENTENCES STRAIGHTS BUT OUR

ENEMIES IN IRAN LED BY THEIR IF

A NAUTICAL AYATOLLAH KHOMEINI

HAVE PERPETRATED ANOTHER ATTACK

ON THE PEOPLE.

WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO INTERVENE

PRESIDENT OBAMA.

IRAN SUPPORTS HEZBOLLAH AND THEY

REFUSE TO WEAR TIES EVEN WHEN

FORMAL TIES ARE CALLED FOR.

THIS IS GARDEN ELEGANCE AT BEST

AND BORDERING ON CASUAL FRIDAY.

YOU MONSTER!

I'M SORRY I'M SO WORKED UP WITH

FASHION, FOLKS, IT'S JUST THAT

IRAN HAS IMPOSED A NECKLACE BAN

FOR MEN.

THIS IS AN OUTRAGE.

PEOPLE OF IRAN RISE UP, THROW

OFF YOUR CHAINS AND THEN THROW

ON YOUR CHAINS.

[LAUGHTER]

WITHOUT A NECKLACE HOW IS A MAN

SUPPOSED TO COMMUNICATE HISSER

HAVE RILITY?

A CHAIN IS THE UNIVERSAL

LANGUAGE THAT SAYS TO WOMEN,LY

NOT CALL YOU AFTER WE HAVE SEX.

[ APPLAUSE ]

FOLKS, AND THIS IS JUST THE

LATEST COMPONENT OF IRAN'S QUOTE

"MORAL SECURITY PLAN DESIGNED TO

COMBAT THE WESTERN CULTURAL

INVASION AND ENFORCED BY MORE

THAN 70,000 MORAL POLICE ON THE

STREETS. ".

THEY ARE LIKE THE FASHION POLICE

WHEN WOULD STONE THE FASHION

POLICE.

[LAUGHTER]

NOT ONLY HAS IRAN BAND

NECKLACES, THEY ARE ALSO

PROHIBITING SHORTS.

THAT'S RIGHT.

NOW THEY ARE ATTACKING DAISY

DUKE.

FOLKS, WE WE CANNOT LET THE IRANIAN

PEOPLE SUFFER ALIGN.

IT'S TIME TO TAKE A STAND.

-- SUFFER ALONE.

IT IS TIME TO TAKE A STAND.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

HOW YOU LIKE THE TATE OF THIS

YOU AHMEDINI-SHORTS?

EMBRACE THE WESTERN VALUE OF

SHORT SHORTS.

WHO KNOWS THE