The Sarah Palin Channel

  • Aired:  07/29/14
  •  | Views: 213,608

Sarah Palin announces the launch of her own online news channel as part of a continuing quest to remind America of her existence. (4:31)

OKAY.

SHAKE IT OFF, COLBERT.

YOU'RE A PRO.

MOVE ON.

MOVE ON.

THAT'S ENOUGH DEATH ANDDESTRUCTION.

LET'S TURN TO SOMETHING THATEVIDENTLY WILL NEVER DIE AND

CANNOT BE DESTROYED.

SARAH PALIN.

(LAUGHTER)(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

I'VE ALWAYS BEEN A HUGE FAN OFSARAH PALIN.

SHE'S A STRONG LEADER WITH APROVEN HISTORY OF SELFLESSNESS.

IN THE MIDST OF HER 2008CAMPAIGN, SHE TOOK TIME TO HELP

OUT A STRUGGLING SENIOR WITHSEVERELY IMPAIRED JUDGMENT.

(LAUGHTER)AND THIS WEEK, IN HER CONTINUING

QUEST TO REMIND AMERICA OF HEREXISTENCE, PALIN ANNOUNCED A NEW

PROJECT.

>> HELLO AND WELCOME TO A NEWPROJECT.

THIS IS A NEWS CHANNEL THATREALLY IS A LOT MORE THAN NEWS.

ARE YOU TIRED OF THE MEDIAFILTERS?

WELL, I AM.

I ALWAYS HAVE BEEN, SO WE'REGONNA DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT.

WE'RE GONNA MAKE THIS EASY TOO.

YOU CAN WATCH OUR CHANNEL RIGHTHERE ON YOUR COMPUTER, TABLET OR

EVEN ON YOUR SMARTPHONE.

WE'LL TALK ABOUT THE ISSUES THATTHE MAINSTREAM MEDIA WON'T TALK

ABOUT AND WE'LL LOOK AT THEIDEAS THAT -- MMM -- I THINK

WASHINGTON DOESN'T WANT YOU TOHEAR.

>> STEPHEN: YES, THE ALL SARAHPALIN CHANNEL!

IT'S EXACTLY WHAT SHE'S ALWAYSDONE, ONLY -- MMM -- NOTHING

ELSE.

(LAUGHTER)'CUZ, FOLKS, IT'S 24-7

PALIN-TAINMENT STREAMED RIGHT TOYOUR PHONE, WITH THE HELP OF

"TAPP," WHICH IT TURNS OUT IS AMEDIA COMPANY AND NOT, AS I

FIRST ASSUMED, THE NAME OF ONEOF HER CHILDREN.

(LAUGHTER)AND LIKE THE WOMAN HERSELF, THE

SARAH PALIN CHANNEL IS ALL ABOUTSARAH PALIN.

>> WE'LL ALSO SHARE SOME OF THEFUN THAT GOES ON IN THE PALIN

HOUSEHOLD AND A LOT OF OURADVENTURES IN THE GREAT OUTDOORS

TRYING TO JUST GET US FROM POINTA TO POINT B AND, BELIEVE ME, IT

IS FUN BECAUSE IT'S REAL LIFE.

>> STEPHEN: YEAH, IT'S FUNBECAUSE IT'S REAL LIFE.

THAT'S WHY I ALWAYS TIV0THAT EXCITING STARING CONTEST ON

THE MIRROR CHANNEL.

(LAUGHTER)THAT SHOW IS AMAZING -- HOW IS

IT "ALWAYS" A TIE?!

HE'S GOOD.

(LAUGHTER)THIS IS ALL PART OF SARAH'S

CONTINUING MISSION TO PROTECTOUR FREEDOMS AT ANY COST.

SPECIFICALLY, "$9.95 A MONTH."

(LAUGHTER)SURE, THAT'S MORE THAN NETFLIX.

BUT IT'S JUST AS GOOD AS HOUSEOF CARDS -- WITH EVEN MORE

THREATENING MONOLOGUES INTOCAMERA.

(LAUGHTER)THIS CHANNEL OFFERS YOU

SOMETHING MORE, BY OFFERING YOULESS.

AS THE SITE NOTES, WE FEEL THATTHE COMMUNITY WOULD FEEL MORE

SECURE KNOWING EVERYONEWATCHING, UPLOADING VIDEOS AND

PARTICIPATING IN THE DISCUSSIONSAND VIDEO CHATS WAS A

CONTRIBUTING MEMBER."

THAT'S RIGHT, IT'S A SAFE SPACEWHERE LIKE-MINDED FOLKS CAN HEAR

THINGS THEY ALREADY AGREE WITHFROM SOMEONE WHOSE OPINION THEY

ALREADY KNOW.

A PLACE WHERE WE PALIN-HEADS CANGATHER AND ASK THE IMPORTANT

QUESTIONS.

AMONG THE MOST POPULAR,APPARENTLY, IS "WHAT IS YOUR

CANCELLATION POLICY?"(LAUGHTER)

BECAUSE WE PALIN FANS WANT TO BEJUST LIKE HER AND QUIT HALFWAY

THROUGH OUR COMMITMENT.

(LAUGHTER)BUT IF $9.95 SOUNDS TOO RICH

RICH FOR YOUR BLOOD, SIGN UP FORMY NEW PREMIUM WEB

CHANNEL -- "STEPHEN COLBERT'SANGRY ECHO CHAMBER ."

FOR JUST $9.94, IT'S A COMMUNITYOF PEOPLE JUST LIKE YOU, IF YOU

HAVE A VALID CREDIT CARD.

WE'LL DISCUSS THE WASHINGTONISSUES OF THE DAY -- AND THE

ISSUES OF THE NIGHT, LIKE WHEREDID THE SUN GO?

(LAUGHTER)PLUS, "STEPHEN COLBERT'S ANGRY

ECHO CHAMBER" GIVES YOU 24-7ACCESS TO EVERYTHING I DO.

LIKE FOOTAGE OF ME MAKING ANDEATING A B.L.T.

(LAUGHTER)IS THAT WHAT I SPENT YOUR TEN

BUCKS ON?

THE ANSWER MIGHT SURPRISE YOU.

(LAUGHTER)AND YOU MIGHT EVEN SEE YOUR NAME

ON MY CHANNEL WHEN I DEPOSITYOUR CHECKS IN AN A.T.M.!

(LAUGHTER)AND SARAH PALIN'S CHANNEL ONLY

TAKES YOU FROM POINT A TO POINTB -- BUT YOU CAN FOLLOW ME ALL

THE WAY TO POINT C, POINT D,THEN BACK TO POINT B WHEN I

REALIZE I LEFT MY SUNGLASSESTHERE.

(LAUGHTER)THAT'S REAL-LIFE FUN!

AND REMEMBER, SARAH PALIN'SCHANNEL IS

SARAPALINCHANNEL.COM, NOTTHESARAHPALINCHANNEL.COM.

WE BOUGHT THAT ONE TODAY.

(CHEERING)AND IT'S FREE!

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK!

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