"Skewed" Presidential Polls

  • Aired:  09/27/12
  •  | Views: 49,156

One conservative blogger reaches the scientific conclusion that President Obama's poll leads just don't look right. (4:37)

RESULTS.

I'M GOING TO GO WITH BUNNY.

BESIDES, YOU CAN'T TRUST POLLS.

RIGHT FOX NEWS.

>> THE LATEST FOX NEWS POLLS GIVE PRESIDENT OBAMA AN EDGE IN THREE KEY SWING STATES.

HE'S UP 5 IN FLORIDA, 7 IN OHIO AND 7 IN VIRGINIA.

BUT THAT IS WITH ALL LIKELY VOTERS.

ONCE YOU ISOLATE VOTERS EXTREMELY INTERESTED IN THE ELECTION THE RACE IS MUCH CLOSER.

>> Stephen: YES.

MUCH CLOSER AMONG THE EXTREMELY INTERESTED.

AND ROMNEY'S TIED WHEN YOU FOCUS ON THE INDEX PRESSABLY INTRIGUED.

AND HE'S UP, HE'S UP BY 2 POINTS WHEN YOU COUNT ONLY VOTERS WHO ARE SIGH COTICALLY ENGAGED.

(APPLAUSE) THE POINT IS THE POINT IS THE POLLS SHOWING ROMNEY BEHIND HAVE TO BE WRONG.

>> WE HAVE A BUNCH OF POLLS, GALLUP, PEW AND-- AND UH-- THE CNN WHICH EITHER OVERSAMPLED DEMOCRATS OR AT

LEAST IN THE CASE OF CNN, APPEAR TO GROSSLY UNDERESTIMATE THE PERCENTAGE OF INDEPENDENTS.

>> THERE IS REALLY LOUSY SAMPLING IN THESE POLLS.

>> I DON'T BELIEVE THEM BECAUSE I THINK THE SAMPLING IS PROBABLY SKEWED.

>> IT IS CLEAR THAT MANY OF THESE POLLS ARE OVERSAMPLING.

>> THE POLLS ARE SKEWED.

>> I DON'T BELIEVE THEM.

YOU CAN GO THROUGH ALL THE SCIENTIFIC GOOBLEDYGOOK YOU LIKE, I DONE BELIEVE THEM.

>> YES, THEY'RE BASING THIS ALL ON SCIEN PARTICULAR GOOBLEDYGOOK WHICH IS ALSO THE NAME OF STUART VAUGHN'S

CHARACTER IN HARRY POTTER.

PROFESSOR POPPYCOCK GOOB EL DEE GOOK.

(LAUGHTER) THAT'S VERY HARD TO SAY WITHOUT SWALLOWING YOUR OWN TONGUE.

NOW LUCKILY, FOLKS, I'VE GOT MY OWN SOURCE OF POLLS.

CONSERVATIVE BLOGGER DEAN CHAMBERS, WHO ANALYZED THESE POLLS FAVOURING OBAMA AND THEN REACHED THE SCIENTIFIC

CONCLUSION THAT THEY JUST DIDN'T LOOK RIGHT.

SO CHAMBERS SET UP HIS OWN POLLING SITE UNSKEWED POLLS.COM WHERE HE UNSKEWED ALL THE NATIONAL POLLS BY

SKEWING THEM IN FAVOR OF ROMNEY, AND SURPRISINGLY FOUND THAT MITT ACTUALLY HAD A NEARLY 8 POINT LEAD.

THAT DOESN'T EVEN COUNT THE MARGIN OF ERROR.

AND GIVEN HOW MANY ERRORS ROMNEY'S MADE, I THINK HE SHOULD GET ALL OF IT.

NOW NO SURPRISE, FOLKS, THIS FEELS ACCURATE POLLING HAS CAUGHT THE ATTENTION OF SOME GOP INTELLECTUALS LIKE TEXAS

GOVERNOR RICK PERRY WHO TWEETED, ALWAYS NILES TO GET UNFILTERED OR IN THIS CASE UNSKEWED INFORMATION.

AMEN.

IF WE HAD ONLY HAD MORE ACCURATE POLLING DURING THE PRIMARIES, PERRY COULD HAVE DROPPED OUT WAY SOONER.

(APPLAUSE) AND SO-- (LAUGHTER) FOLKS, CHAMBERS' WORK THROWS ALL POLLS INTO DOUBT NOW.

EVEN THE INTERNAL ONES I'VE TAKEN OF MYSELF.

I MEAN THE RESULTS SAY I'M NOT THAT EXCITED ABOUT MITT ROMNEY BUT AS A CONSERVATIVE I FEEL LIKE I SHOULD LOVE HIM.

MAYBE THE SAMPLE SIZE IS TOO SMALL OR MAYBE I CHECKED THE WRONG BOX AND I'M ACTUALLY LATINO, YOU KNOW.

THANKFULLY, FOX NEWS IS FIGHTING BACK WITH ITS OWN FAIR AND BALANCED POLLING.

>> WE ASKED YOU TONIGHT WHO WILL WIN OHIO.

10% OF YOU SAID PRESIDENT OBAMA.

90% OF YOU SAID MITT ROMNEY.

THANKS FOR YOUR VOTE.

WE HAD MORE THAN 20,000 OF THEM TONIGHT.

>> Stephen: I DON'T KNOW.

I DON'T KNOW.

THAT POLL LOOKS LIKE IT OVERSAMPLED DEMOCRATS BY 10%.

BUT FOLKS, I AM SO INSPIRED THAT TONIGHT I AM CONDUCTING MY OWN PROPERLY WEIGHTED POLL.

SO GO TO COLBERT NATION.COM AND MAKE YOUR VOICE HEARD BY ANSWERING THIS QUESTION.

PRESIDENT OBAMA CURRENTLY LEADS MITT ROMNEY IN THE POLLS.

WHY ARE POLLS SO SKEWED?

A, PEOPLE TEND TO CHOOSE THE FIRST OPTION THEY ARE OFFERED.

B, I DON'T ANSWER POLLS.

C, WHEN IN DOUBT ALWAYS PICK C.

REMEMBER, THIS IS A SCIENTIFIC POLL IN THAT THE RESULTS WILL BE TABULATED BY A LAB CHIMP.

WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

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