"Poor" in America

  • Aired:  07/26/11
  •  | Views: 69,888

A Heritage Foundation report proves that as long as "poor" Americans have refrigerators and the strength to brush flies off their eyeballs, they're not really poor. (3:17)

STATES.

(LAUGHTER)

YOU THREW THAT ONE AWAY.

NATION, JESUS SAID THE POOR

WOULD ALWAYS BE WITH US.

WELL, IT TURNS OUT JESUS DOES

NOT KNOW EVERYTHING.

FOR MORE, FOX NEWS STU VASHNY STU VARNEY

MAKES WORDS COME OUT OF HIS

MOUTH.

>> WHEN YOU THINK OF POVERTY,

YOU THINK OF THIS.

BUT WHAT IF I TOLD YOU IT REALLY

LOOKS LIKE THIS.

A NEW REPORT SHOWING POOR

FAMILIES IN THE UNITED STATES

ARE NOT WHAT THEY USED TO BE.

I'M JUST GOING TO GIVE OUR

VIEWERS A QUICK RUN-THROUGH OF

WHAT ITEMS POOR FAMILIES IN

AMERICA HAVE.

99% OF THEM HAVE A REFRIGERATOR.

(LAUGHTER)

81% HAVE A MICROWAVE.

>> Stephen: A REFRIGERATOR AND

A MICROWAVE?

THEY CAN PRESERVE AND HEAT FOOD?

OOH-LA-LA, I GUESS THE POOR ARE

TOO GOOD FOR MOLD AND

TRICHINOSIS.

IT'S ALL HERE, FOLKS, IN THE

CONSERVATIVE THINK-TANK THE

HERITAGE FOUNDATION'S NEW REPORT

"AIR CONDITIONING, CABLE T.V.

AND AN XBOX: WHAT IS POVERTY IN

THE UNITED STATES TODAY?"

AND IF YOU WATCH CLOSELY IN STU

VARNEY'S REPORT JUST THEN, YOU

SAW THAT EVIDENTLY POVERTY IS

THE PLASMA FLAT SCREEN AISLE AT

BEST BUY.

(LAUGHTER)

AND YOU WILL NOT BELIEVE SOME OF

THE STUFF POOR PEOPLE HAVE IN

THEIR HOMES!

LUXURIES LIKE CEILING FANS,

D.V.D. PLAYERS, ANSWER MAGAZINES

AND COFFEE MAKERS.

(LAUGHTER)

I DON'T HAVE THOSE THINGS!

I HAVE VALUE AIR, A BLU RAY

PLAYER, VOICE MAIL AND I GO TO

STARBUCKS EVERYDAY.

(LAUGHTER)

MUST BE NICE.

MUST BE PRETTY NICE.

(APPLAUSE)

AND $10 COFFEE MAKERS AREN'T THE

ONLY LUXURY THESE "POORS" CAN

AFFORD.

(LAUGHTER)

STU?

>> I SEEM TO REMEMBER IN THE

LAST FEW YEARS BEING TOLD THAT

SOMETHING LIKE 12% OF THE

CHILDREN IN AMERICA GO TO BED

HUNGRY AT NIGHT.

YOU'RE SAYING THAT THAT'S FLAT

OUT NOT ACCURATE?

>> THAT'S AN ABSOLUTE LIE.

IT MAY BE 2% OF CHILDREN AT SOME

POINT IN THE YEAR WOULD GO TO

BED HUNGRY.

>> Stephen: 2% HUNGRY!

THAT'S THE PERFECT AMOUNT!

(LAUGHTER)

THERE'S ABOUT 150 OF US IN THIS

ROOM.

IF THREE OF US WERE HUNGRY

CHILDREN, I THINK WE'D FEEL

PRETTY GOOD ABOUT THAT.

(LAUGHTER)

I MEAN, THIS REPORT PROVES THAT

POOR PEOPLE ARE JUST NOT LIVING

DOWN TO OUR EXPECTATIONS.

(LAUGHTER)

IF YOU STILL HAVE THE STRENGTH

TO BRUSH THE FLIES OFF YOUR

EYEBALLS, YOU'RE NOT REALLY

POOR.

BECAUSE EVEN THE ONES THAT ARE

OFFICIALLY POOR ARE PROBABLY WAY

RICHER THAN YOU THINK.

BECAUSE IN DETERMINING WHETHER A

HOUSEHOLD WAS POOR, THE CENSUS

ONLY COUNTS ABOUT 4% OF THE

WELFARE SPENT ON THAT FAMILY AS

INCOME.

SO WE DON'T NEED TO GIVE THE

POOR ASSISTANCE BECAUSE THEY'RE

NOT POOR THANKS TO THE

ASSISTANCE WE GIVE THEM.

(LAUGHTER)

I MEAN, FOLKS, THIS GREAT

SOCIETY ANTIPOVERTY PROGRAMS ARE

LIKE A DAM THAT WE BUILT TO HOLD

BACK THE RIVER OF POVERTY-- AND

IT WORKED.

SO LET'S TEAR DOWN THE DAM!

I'M SURE THE RIVER WILL STAY PUT

PUT.

BUT IF NOT AND THE POOR START

DROWNING AGAIN, WE'LL THROW THEM

A LIFE PRESERVER-- OR A