Tip/Wag - Liberal Dictionary & Newt Gingrich Alert

  • Aired:  12/12/11
  •  | Views: 60,229

The American Heritage Dictionary's lexicowards redefine an offensive term, and Newt Gingrich thinks of new ways to make Americans afraid. (6:05)

(LAUGHTER)

NATION, FOLKS THERE ARE

THREE KINDS OF PEOPLE IN

THIS WORLD.

THOSE WHO CAN COUNT, AND

THOSE WHO CAN'T.

THIS IS TIP OF THE HAT WAG

OF THE FINGER.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

FIRST UP, FOLKS, THE LATEST

EDITION OF THE SO-CALLED

AMERICAN HERITAGE DICTIONARY

HAS ADDED ONE OF MY FAVORITE

WORDS.

ANCHOR BABY WHICH THEY

ACCURATELY DEFINED AS A

CHILD BORN TO A NON-CITIZEN

MOTH ANOTHER A COUNTRY THAT

GRANTS AUTOMATIC CITIZENSHIP

TO CHILDREN BORN ON ITS SOIL,

ESPECIALLY SUCH A CHILD BORN

TO PARENTS SEEKING TO SECURE

EVENTUAL CITIZENSHIP.

MUCH MORE ACCURATE THAN

WIKIPEDIA WHICH DEFINES THEM

AS A CHILD BORN TO A

NON-CITIZEN MOTH NEVER A

COUNTRY THAT RON PAUL'S-- 2012,

RON PAUL 2012, RON PAUL

2012.

BUT NOW, FOLKS, AFTER A

COMPLAINT BY THE IMMIGRATION

POLICY CENTER, A GROUP THAT

SUPPORTS THE FAR LEFT

RADICAL IDEA OF HAVING

IMMIGRANTS, THE DICTIONARY

HAS ADD THE WORD OFFENSIVE

AND REDEFINED ANCHOR BABY AS

A DISPARAGING TERM.

WHICH IS WHY I'M GIVING A

WAG OF MY FINGER TO THE LEXI-QOU

ARDS AT THE AMERICAN

HERITAGE DICTIONARY.

FOLKS THERE IS NOTHING

OFFENSIVE ABOUT THE TERM

ANCHOR BABY.

AS ILLEGAL IMMIGRATION

OPPONENTS BOB DAIN TOLD FOX

NEWS, WHAT'S OFFENSIVE ABOUT

ANCHOR BABY ISN'T THE TERM,

BUT THE PRACTICE OF HAVING A

BABY ON OUR SOIL TO GAME THE

SYSTEM.

DAMN STRAIGHT.

IT'S NOT THE WORD ANCHOR

BABY THAT'S OFFENSIVE, IT'S

THE ACT.

SAME THING WITH CHINESE FIRE

DRILLS.

WHY ARE THOSE ORIENTALS

ALWAYS TRYING TO DELAY

TRAFFIC AT OUR INTERSECTIONS?

WELL NOW-- I'M WRITING THAT

DOWN-- WELL NOW THAT ANCHOR

BABY HAS BEEN DECLARED

OFFENSIVE I HOLD LITTLE HOPE

FOR MY SUBMISSION GRAPPLING

BABY.

KNOWN, THE ALL TOO COMMON O

CONCERNS OF A PREGNANT WOMAN

IN MEXICO AIMING HER BIRTH

CANAL AT AMERICA TO LAUNCH

HER BABY OVER THE BORDER SO

THAT SHE CAN CLIMB IN USING

THE UMBILICAL CORD.

AND FOLKS, FOLKS--

(APPLAUSE)

>> Stephen: IF YOU DON'T

THINK THIS IS HAPPENING, IF

YOU DON'T THINK THIS IS

HAPPENING YOU ARE LIVING IN

A DREAM WORLD.

THAT'S WHY I'M CALLING ON

THE DEPARTMENT OF HOMELAND

SECURITY TO DEPLOY THOUSANDS

OF VOLLEYBALL PLAYERS TO THE

BORDER TO SPIKE THESE LITTLE

CRIMINALS BACK TO MEXICO.

POINT, AMERICA.

NEXT UP, FOLKS, WE ARE JUST

22 DAYS AWAY FROM THE IOWA

CAUCUS.

AND NEWT GINGRICH HAS A

DOUBLE DIGIT LEAD.

BAFFLING THE WASHINGTON

PREDICTO, BUT FOLKS I'M NOT

SURPRISED.

HE HAS GOT A GOOD HEAD ON

HIS SHOULDERS, AND A LOT OF

IT.

PLUS, HE'S NOT AFRAID TO

THINK OF NEW WAYS TO MAKE US

ALL AFRAID.

SO I'M GIVING A BIG TIP OF

MY HAT TO NEWT GINGRICH FOR

REPEATEDLY ALERTING THE

NATION TO AN UNDERREPORTED

THREAT, THE ELECTROMAGNETIC

PULSE.

>> ELECTROMAGNETIC PULSE IS

ESSENTIALLY A PECULIARLY

SIZED NUCLEAR DEVICE THAT

BECOMES A GIANT LIGHTNING

STRIKE.

IT KNOCKS OUT ALL THE

ELECTRICAL APPLIANCES, THE

ELECTROMAGNETIC PULSE ATTACK

WAS LITERALLY DESTROY THE

COUNTRY'S CAPACITY TO

FUNCTION.

>> YES, AN ELECTROMAGNETIC

PULSE WOULD DISABLE ALL

ELECTRONS DEVICES, ALL

COMPUTERS.

THE ENTIRE POWER GRID SHUT

DOWN LEAVING TO THE

UNTHINKABLE.

WE WOULD HAVE TO LISTEN TO

THOSE AMISH BASTARDS SAY, WE

TOLD YOU SO.

NOW NEWT IS NOT THE ONLY ONE

WHO IS CONCERNED WITH

BECOMING EMP-MAGEDDON.

SO IS HER MAJESTY'S SECRET

SERVICE.

>> ONE SINGLE ELECTRIC

LIGHT --

>> EMP.

>> A NUCLEAR DEVICE IN THE

UPPER ATMOSPHERE, CREATES

POWER, A RADIATION SURGE

THAT DESTROY ITS EVERYTHING

WITH AN ELECTRONIC CIRCUIT.

>> Stephen: YES, BOND, JAMES

BOND.

AGREES WITH GINGRICH.

NEWT GINGRICH.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

>> Stephen: AND JUST LIKE

BOND, GINGRICH IS CALM UNDER

PRESSURE, A LITTLE COCKY AND

IS FREQUENTLY SEEN WITH

DIFFERENT LEADING LADIES.

PLUS HIS HALF MILLION DOLLAR

LINE OF CREDIT AT TIFFANIES

PROVES HE KNOWS DIAMONDS ARE

FOREVER.

AND AS DAVID BROOKS POINTED

OUT, NEWT HAS CALLED FOR A

PERMANENT LUNAR COLONY TO

EXPLOIT THE MOON'S RESOURCES.

HMMMM, SOUNDS TO ME LIKE

NEWT IS A MOON RAKER.

AND NEWT HAS ALSO POINTED

OUT THAT A MIRROR SYSTEM IN

SPACE COULD PROVIDE THE

LIGHT EQUIVALENT OF MANY

FULL MOONS SO THERE WOULD BE

NO NEED FOR NIGHTTIME

LIGHTING OF THE HIGHWAYS.

HMMMM, HMMMM, GIANT SOLAR

MIRRORS ALSO SEEM FAMILIAR.

>> SHINING LIKE DIAMONDS IN

THE SKY.

>> Stephen: LET THE PLOT DIE

ANOTHER DAY.

NO, WAIT, WAIT, JIMMY, IT

JUST OCCURRED TO ME, ALL

THOSE SCHEMES WERE FROM THE

VILLAINS.

THAT MEANS GINGRICH ISN'T

BOND, HE'S BLOFELD!

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

TIP OF MY HAT, YOU KNOW HE'S

IN THE TOP 1%.

WHICH MEANS HE'S CREATING

JOBS FOR ALL THOSE

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