Four More Years of Hopey Change

  • Aired:  11/07/12
  •  | Views: 242,067

Even though Barack Obama lost in big red states, he is reelected due to a technicality called the Constitution. (4:26)

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )

>> STEPHEN!

STEPHEN!

STEPHEN!

STEPHEN!

STEPHEN!

STEPHEN!

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) ( LAUGHTER )

>> Stephen: WHAT ARE YOU PEOPLE DOING HERE?

SHOULDN'T YOU BE OUT CELEBRATING?

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) BECAUSE EVIDENTLY, YOU DON'T LISTEN TO ANYTHING I SAY!

I'VE BEEN BRINGING YOU THE TRUTH FOR SEVEN YEARS, AND HOW DO YOU REPAY ME?

FOUR MORE YEARS OF HOPI-CHANGE.

( APPLAUSE ) WHAT DO YOU THINK?

WHAT DO YOU THINK?

YOU THINK I DO THIS NIGHT AFTER NIGHT FOR YOUR AMUSEMENT?

I DO IT FOR AMERICA.

WHAT'S THE POINT?

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) ( SIGHS ) ( LAUGHTER )

>> WHO THE WIN THE $10,000 PRIZE?

( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE ) ♪ ♪ ♪

>> Stephen: OKAY, APPARENTLY, I AM CONTRACTUALLY OBLIIGATE TO DO A SHOW.

THANK YOU VERY MUCH, THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

OKAY, UM, ALL RIGHT, FINE.

ALL RIGHT, LET'S-- AH, LET'S DO THIS.

UM, SO, IF I HAVE TO, I HAVE TO.

LET'S TALK ABOUT THE BIG ELECTION.

LAST NIGHT, DUE TO THE TECHNICALITY CALLED THE CONSTITUTION, BARACK OBAMA WAS RE-ELECTED PRESIDENT.

THOUGH-- ( CHEERS ) ( APPLAUSE ) UH.

( BLEEP ) YOU.

( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE ) NOW, FOLKS, KEEP IN MIND, KEEP IN MIND, THIS WAS NO LANDSLIDE, FOLKS.

IT WAS LIKE A 51-49ER, OKAY.

JUST BECAUSE OBAMA WON THE BLUE STATES UP HERE, HE'S THE PRESIDENT OF ALL OF THEM NOW?

ROMNEY WON ALL THAT RED STUFF.

WHY DON'T WE ELECT OUR PRESIDENT ON SQUARE FOOTAGE, BECAUSE ROMNEY WON SOME BIG STATES,

FOLKS, WHOLE DAMN SOUTH.

LOUISIANA, N'AWLINS LOVES MI-RAWMNAH.

BUT, BUT, EVIDENTLY, HERE'S THE DEAL.

OF THE NINE KEY SWING STATES, BALM WON EIGHT.

I DON'T-- I MEAN HOW-- EVEN PENNSYLVANIA.

DESPITE THE FACT THAT AFTER A WEEK OF HURRICANE SANDY, THOUSANDS OF AMISH REMAIN

WITHOUT POWER.

( APPLAUSE ) ANYWAY, ANYWAY, OBAMA WON.

AMERICA IS DONE.

IT'S OVER!

JIMMY, ROLL THE CREDITS.

♪ ♪ ♪ ( "AMERICA THE BEAUTIFUL BEAUTIFUL" )

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