Mitt Romney's Champion Horse & Dressage Tribute

  • Aired:  06/19/12
  •  | Views: 92,492

The Romneys' horse Rafalca makes the Olympic team, and the United States Equestrian Federation welcomes Stephen's new dressage tradition. (6:02)

[ LAUGHTER ]

FOR SHAME!

FOR SHAME!

[ LAUGHTER ]

AND OBAMA'S GOING TO NEED ALL THE HELP HE CAN GET BECAUSE ROMNEY IS SURGING, THANKS IN

PART TO HIS NEW SECRET WEAPON.

LONG-TIME VIEWERS KNOW THAT EVERY YEAR I DECLARE A SPORT OF THE SUMMER.

LAST YEAR, IT WAS THE ELEGANT ART OF CANOE-DANCING.

[ LAUGHTER ]

YES, CANOE DANCING.

YES, ALL THE DRAMA OF BROADWAY WITH THE EXCITEMENT OF DROWNING.

[ LAUGHTER ]

WELL FOLKS, LAST WEEK, I DECLARED THAT THIS YEAR'S SPORT OF THE SUMMER WILL BE DRESSAGE,

OR HORSE BALLET.

NEXT YEAR, WHO KNOWS?

PERHAPS CANOE-DRESSAGE.

[ LAUGHTER ]

BUT FOR NOW, THIS IS OUR NEW NATIONAL PAST TIME.

IT'S AS AMERICAN AS BASEBALL.

EXCEPT IN BASEBALL, THERE'S SLIGHTLY MORE HORSE TESTOSTERONE.

[ LAUGHTER ]

AND FOLKS, OUR FUTURE FIRST FAMILY IS ALREADY THE FIRST FAMILY OF DRESSAGE.

THE ROMNEYS ARE THE PROUD OWNERS OF A CHAMPION OLDENBURG MARE NAMED RAFALCA.

♪ ♪ NO BETTER WAY TO DISPEL THE MYTH THAT MITT ROMNEY IS A DETACHED

PATRICIAN ELITE THAN COMPETITIVE HORSE PRANCING.

[ LAUGHTER ]

IT'S BASICALLY NASCAR IN A VELVET TOP HAT.

[ LAUGHTER ]

THIS WEEKEND RAFALCA WAS VYING FOR THE OLYMPIC TEAM, SO LAST WEEK I GAVE RAFALCA THE COLBERT

BUMP, TO PUSH HER OVER THE TOP AND ONTO THE LONDON GAMES.

[ LAUGHTER ]

WELL, HOLD ON TO YOUR LIPIZANERS, BECAUSE THE TRIALS ARE OVER AND RAFALCA MADE THE OLYMPIC TEAM!

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

YES!

I DID IT!

I HORSED IT!

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

EAT IT, NEEEEIIIIGHH-SAYERS.

[ LAUGHTER ]

JIMMY, CRANK UP THE JOCKEY JAMS!

♪ ARUBA, JAMAICA, OOH, I WANT TO TAKE YOU TO BERMUDA, BAHAMA,

COME ON PRETTY MAMA ♪

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

♪ ♪ THAT'S WHERE WE WANT TO GO WAY DOWN TO KOKOMO.

INCIDENTALLY, I AM AVAILABLE TO STUD.

[ LAUGHTER ]

NATION, THIS IS A GREAT DAY FOR AMERICA-- BUT IT PUTS ENORMOUS PRESSURE ON THE ATHLETE.

IF RAFALCA WINS, WE COULD SEE HER FACE ON A BOX OF WHEATIES!

IF SHE LOSES, ON A BOTTLE OF ELMER'S.

[ LAUGHTER ]

SAD, SAD, BUT IT'S TRUE.

[ LAUGHTER ]

AND THE HUGE PART I PLAYED HERE DID NOT GO UNNOTICED BY BRIAN O'CONNOR, "THE VOICE OF

DRESSAGE." JIM?

>> FIRST OF ALL, I'D LIKE TO GIVE A BIG SHOUT OUT TO MR.

STEVE COLBERT.

WE'RE VERY PLEASED THAT YOU WERE ABLE TO GIVE US A WONDERFUL PREP

FOR OUR NATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIP.

WE HAVE HAD A GREAT RESPONSE FROM THE WONDERFUL AND UNDERSTANDING FANS OF DRESSAGE

OR DRESSAGE USA HERE IN GLADSTONE, NEW JERSEY.

>> Stephen: OH, THAT'S EMBARRASSING.

I'VE BEEN PRONOUNCING IT "DRESSAGE." EVIDENTLY, IT'S "DRESS-AGE."

THANK YOU, BRIAN, FOR THAT MESS-AGE.

[ LAUGHTER ]

AND, FOLKS, TO THANK ME FOR THE BUMP, ANN ROMNEY AND THE UNITED STATES EQUESTRIAN FEDERATION

MADE ME THIS VIDEO USING MY CONTRIBUTION TO DRESSAGE -- BUDWEISER AND RED FOAM FINGERS.

♪ ♪ THAT'S IT.

I'VE CREATED A NEW DRESSAGE TRADITION.

I'M GOING TO BE AS FAMOUS AS VISCOUNT HEINRICH FUSSELBRIDGE,

INVENTOR OF THE FANCY TROT!

[ LAUGHTER ]

RAFALCA IS NOW AMERICA'S SWEETHEART.

WE'RE ALL GOING TO LOVE HER JUST AS MUCH AS ANN ROMNEY DOES.

>> I JOKE THAT I'M GOING TO HAVE TO SEND HER TO BETTY FORD FOR ADDICTION TO HORSES.

[ LAUGHTER ]

>> Stephen: HA, HA, HA HA.

GOOD ONE.

I'M RIGHT THERE WITH YA ON THE ADDICTION.

I WISH THERE WAS A WAY TO SHOOT HORSE RIGHT INTO MY VEINS!

[ LAUGHTER ]

SOME NIGHTS I JUST WANT TO RIDE THE WHITE PONY.

[ LAUGHTER ]

SO WE'RE ALL IN AGREEMENT.

THE COLBERT NATION IS GOING TO DO FOR OLYMPIC DRESSAGE WHAT WE DID FOR OLYMPIC SPEED SKATING.

I WON'T REST UNTIL ALL THE HORSES ARE PROPERLY EQUIPPED.

IMAGINE HOW MUCH MORE GRACEFULLY THEY'LL DANCE ON SKATES!

SAD NEWS, AFTER THIS PHOTO WAS TAKEN, THAT HORSE HAD TO BE PUT DOWN.

[ LAUGHTER ]

SOMEHOW IT BROKE ALL FOUR OF ITS LEGS.

NOT SURE WHAT HAPPENED.

[ LAUGHTER ]

NOT ENTIRELY SURE WHAT HAPPENED.

ANN ROMNEY, I'M RESPONDING TO YOUR RESPONSE-- AND INVITING YOU TO RESPOND ON MY SHOW AND TEACH

ME DRESSAGE.

I'VE ALREADY GOT MY VELVET HAT,

MY RIDING CROP, AND THIGHS THAT WERE BORN FOR JODHPURS.

Loading...