The GOP's Lady Troubles

  • Aired:  12/05/13
  •  | Views: 57,256

A majority of women hold an unfavorable view of the GOP, but Republicans are educating themselves on how to connect with the ladies. (3:45)

>> Stephen: WELCOME BACK,EVERYBODY.

WELCOME BACK.

THANK YOU SO MUCH, EVERYBODY.

HERE, GET THESE PEOPLE SOMEEXERCISE.

NATION, THERE ARE ONLY 334SHOPPING DAYS LEFT UNTIL THE

2014 MIDTERM ELECTIONS, BUY YOURCANDIDATE NOW.

AND I'M LOOKING FORWARD TO APUEBLO YOUTH, UNFORTUNATELY THE

GOP IS HAVING SOME SERIOUS LADYTROUBLES AND NOT THE KIND OF

LADY TROUBLES THAT CAN BE SOLVEDWITH A QUARANTINE TENT.

ACCORDING TO AN OCTOBERABC,/WASHINGTON POST/FLINTSTONES

CHEWABLES POLL 63 PERCENT OFWOMEN HAVE AN UNFAVORABLE VIEW

OF THE REPUBLICAN PARTY I DON'TGET IT, OVER 90 PERCENT OF

CONGRESSIONAL REPUBLICANS AREDUDES.

LADY IT'S A SAUSAGE FEST.

IT IS RAINING MEN, HALLELUJAH,IT IS RAINING MEN!

>> BELLY UP TO THE BUFFET.

>> FOLKS, THERE IS SOME GOODNEWS OUT THERE, APPEALS TO WOMEN

IN 2014, REPUBLICANS ARE TRYINGSOMETHING NEW, ANYTHING.

>> ACCORDING TO THE POLITICO,JOHN BOEHNER'SED TO AIDES HELD A

SEMINAR TO DISCUSS HOW LAWMAKERSSHOULD TALK TO FEMALE

CONSTITUENTS AND IT ONLY MAKESSENSE THAT ONE OF OUR TWO MAJOR

POLITICAL PARTIES WOULD NEEDLESSONS ON HOW TO TALK TO THE

MAJORITY OF THE HUMAN RACE.

AND THE REPUBLICAN SEMINAR --THIS REPUBLICAN SEMINAR HAD SOME

GREAT ADVICE ON CONNECTING WITHTHE LADIES.

>> THE GOP IS TEACHING ITS MALECANDIDATES NOT TO USE PHRASES

LIK TODD AIKEN DID LEGITIMATERAPE, SO THEY ARE SAYING THIS IS

HOW YOU SHOULD TALK TO WOMEN, TOHAVE WOMEN'S FORUM, IN TERMS OF

KIND OF WOMEN'S ISSUES, TALKABOUT YOUR FAMILY, THINGS LIKE

THAT.

>> ALL.

>> THEY SHOULD COME TALK TO MEBECAUSE I AM AN EXPERT ON WOMEN,

I WATCHED A PILATES CLASS ONE IEVEN TRIED JANE FONDA'S POOPY

YOGURT.

NOT BAD.

IT WAS NOT BAD.

I MEAN YOU COULD BARELY TASTETHE POOP.

>> SO, GOP REPS, FAKE A SEAT,GENTLEMEN AND LET ME GIVE YOU

THE LOWDOWN ON HOW TO SPEAKRESPECTIVELY TO THE BITCHES.

OKAY.

RULE NUMBER ONE, LADIES, DON'TLIKE IT WHEN YOU USE CERTAIN

TERMS, FOR INSTANCE RAPE.

LEGITIMATE OR PANTIES.

THEY REALLY, THEY REALLY DON'TLIKE THAT ONE.

PANTIES.

OKAY.

>> TWO YOU WANT TO REACH OUT TOWOMEN SO YOU HAVE TO GO WHERE

THEY CONGREGATE SO HANG OUT INTHE WOMEN'S BATHROOM.

>> OF COURSE SHOWMENT APHILADELPHIA VOTER APPROACH YOU,

DO NOT BE FRIGHTENED, THEY CANSENSE FEAR.

ATTEMPT TO BE LARGER THAN YOUARE, RAISE UP YOUR HAND AND POP

OUT YOUR CHEST BUT IF SHEINFLATES HER NECK FRILL, RUN.

>> MOST IMPORTANTLY, MOSTIMPORTANTLY, APPEAL TO THEM ON

THE ISSUES, NOT COME UP WITH ANEASY MNEMONIC DEVICE TO WHAT

THEY CARE ABOUT, PAY EQUALITY,ABORTION RIGHTS, NATIONAL

DEFENSE, INSURANCE, EDUCATIONAND SOCIAL SECURITY ARE --

PANTIES.

DAMN IT! DAMN IT! THAT IS,THIS IS IMPOSSIBLE.

JUST TRY APPEALING TO THE GAYS.

I DON'T THINK THEY HAVE ANYWOMEN.

WE WILL BE

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